Diabolical Rapture
by VittaMelody
Summary: What started as a confession ruptured into an entire recount of sinful events. In an ultimate act of desperation, which would you choose, the love of God, or the love of your life? [RikuSora]
1. Chapter 1 The Malestrom of Beauty

Author's Notes: I've been messing around with the concept of this for awhile now and am happy I've finally managed to write the first chapter! Yes, first. Which means, there's more. Roughly about ten in total.

Before you turn away, NO, this is not a cliché version of "high school romance." It's quite the opposite. It's very different in the fact that this takes place when Sora leaves home for a Catholic, all boys boarding school. Catholicism, (I'm Catholic myself, so trust me, it won't be offensive,) as well as most other religions, preaches against homosexuality. It's based off of part of a manga I have- guess the manga and you win a prize. So chew on that. And it's also got a side plot along with the forbidden love thing. Also, the rating is at a T for now. **This will be bumped up to an M rating within the next couple of chapters.**

Hopefully it's not too confusing, and it may start off a bit slow at first- but things will pick up! Trust me, read, and please please review! Without reviews, I get discouraged and stop writing in most cases. Be prepared for love, hate, angsssst, fear, and all the good in-betweens. Love, Therese.

**Diabolical Rapture Chapter 1: Maelstrom of Beauty**

"_Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Sinned so deeply, I am afraid God himself will never dismiss me of such a heinous crime."_

"_Dear, lamb. God is divine- the very essence of such redemption you seek. No matter the level of corruptness a sin, he shall grant to you salvation."_

"_I know that, Father."_

"_Then why say such a thing, lamb." _

"_It is a crime I cannot stop committing. Like that of a master criminal, I will indulge upon this recklessness until the very day I venture from this Earth."_

_---------------------------------------_

I suppose I should open this recital by telling you my name. I am not so keen on knowing my birth name, but what I do know is that those close to me call me Sora. The meaning of my name is "sky," which leads me to assume I withhold all of the divinities and constellations of the never-ending, yet always changing sky.

I would go more into detail, however, I am afraid I lack the privilege of knowing who I am myself. This is the time in my life in which everything switched, emotions dancing about my brain, intoxicating me with their high levels of endorphins and other poisons. Truthfully, I cannot tell you anymore than the basic facts at this moment. I was seventeen at the time- a small, brunette boy with large sapphire eyes filled with a surge of emotion I'm unable at this moment to identify. Hope maybe? Excitement?

The beginning of this experience is what puzzles me most, for I cannot remember the finer details of just how it all happened. What I do remember, however, was the awareness of being relieved from a heavily weighted burden resting upon my shoulders. Being forced into going there was a blessing in disguise- not a curse.

Perhaps I'll try harder to explain my situation in more detail.

Like a distant star in the sky- burning brightly by itself, I was not alone in the vast world. Loneliness, however, flowed through me as if it were a necessary toxic chemical required to function. I grew up this way- alone. My parents were never home, and it was a rare occasion in which I could share a lunch table with other kids my age during school.

I hadn't heard them, my parents that is, speak as many words to me in all seventeen years of my existence as that did that one night.

"_Sora. We're sending you to an all-boys boarding school. It's called Saint Helena's and it's taught under the Catholic faith. You're leaving first thing next week. Pack adequate clothing and anything else you'll need soon."_

"_Okay, Mom."_

However, where my story begins is where that night came to an end.

I have made sure to remember this date for as long as I am alive- August Sixteenth. It was when my life finally began to perpetuate, the momentum of what that day's events created could rival no other.

Awestruck. Yes, awestruck truthfully described the emotions flooding the rapid processing thoughts of my brain. Nothing short of amazing surrounded me that August Sixteenth. My neck bent in at least a forty-five degree angle- simply gazing at the elegant structures about me. In that moment, I stood at the steps of Saint Helena's Catholic, all-boys boarding school.

Any stereotype of a dirty, run down boarding school was erased in that moment. Blinding white walls climbed over thirteen stories high, gold steeples almost disappearing amongst the stars. Black and gold swirls enveloped archways, doors, and windows- a sleek exterior illuminated and reflecting against the images of the stained glass windows. Those were by far the most beautiful. Their highlights bore striking contrast against the black sky, shadows embracing their darkness.

And it only took a moment's glance to be in such amazement of this exquisite beauty.

"Sora, let's get you settled!"

The clicking sound of approaching heels on marble grew louder as the woman who had spoken to me squeezed the sleeve of my shoulder gently. This was soon followed by a warm smile at the edges of her red painted mouth.

She had introduced herself to me earlier as Ms. Aerieth Gainsborough. Whether she was a teacher, a secretary- I wasn't sure, but she was nice none the less. Returning the smile, I followed the now distant "clicks," a bag of luggage carefully tucked under each arm.

"We'll drop off your things first, dear. Your room number is 7-0-5."

The seven, I guess, meant floor seven because we immediately hopped into an old elevator and rode it upwards for a couple of minutes in silence. The darkness of the inside of the building was a bit shocking. The stunning white and purity of the outside was almost blinding, yet I found myself having to adjust my vision in order to see now in the interior. It wasn't pitch black like the sky, yet the atmosphere was dim, orange lights and candelabras lining the dark red walls.

We arrived at room 705 shortly afterwards. Ms. Aerieth handed me a silver, ornate key explaining "Do not under any circumstances give this out to other people. This may be a school of God, but you'd be quite surprised at the alarming amount of thievery that goes on here!"

A turn of the key, a click of the lock and the door silently cracked open. I'm sure I must have gasped upon seeing the room's accommodations. If the exterior of the school had been impressive, the interior could be described as that multiplied by ten. As I ventured towards the center of the room, the eye of the fairy-tale-like fortress, I turned about, making sure this wasn't a dream I was doomed to wake from.

The walls were painted deep red, with intricate gold leaf like patterns swirling about the top. The furniture, which included a bed, a large vanity mirror, a desk, and one towering wardrobe, was stained in dark, wooden tones. There was a huge window, complete with a balcony on the opposite side I was standing, with gold curtains gently caressed to the right hand side and tied in a single, large bundle.

It appeared that I stood in the maelstrom of beauty.

Ms. Aerieth's hurried glances broke me from my enchantment. I turned around, for the first time noticing not one- but two beds on opposing sides of the room.

"You did realize you would be rooming with a fellow student, didn't you?" She paused at the door frame before continuing to walk towards me and grabbing one of my bags from my grasp. "... A very neat student at that!" she stated while arching a single brow in curiosity.

After she dropped the bag onto the bare bed, I followed suit and placed the luggage I held next to hers. "Um. Well... no?" was all I could manage, and I'm sure I must have appeared really stupid in that moment.

"Don't worry, Sora," she stated while leveling her height with mine. "Ninety-nine percent of the time, students become best friends with their dorm mate. After all, you'll be spending most of your time with this person."

"What if we're that one percent?"

She gently chuckled, "You won't be."

"Okay..."

"Well, now that you're here... I hate to break this to you, dear, but you have one last- well, first class, before the night's yours." She handed me a yellow, crumpled paper. Scanning the sheet briefly, I realized my last/first class would be French I. Greeeat... English was hard enough to communicate to others in... let alone French.

"French?"

"Second floor, room number 2-1-7."

"Um, could you please-"

"I will not!" Her abruptness frightened me for a moment. "I won't baby you, Sora. If I introduce you in each of your classes, you'll regret it later on. Trust me. But, if you'd like to talk- you know, to get used to this new lifestyle, please visit me. I'm located in the guidance counceler's office on the first floor."

Well, she was probably right. I didn't want to be perceived as a baby...

"I guess you're right." I felt a twinge of mixed emotions in that response.

"Goodbye then! I hope you enjoy yourself here! Oh, and be sure to put on a uniform- there should be one on the desk over in the corner. Never be caught during the weekdays without one on." Sora caught a glimpse of her leaving, the only trace of her left being her hand still holding onto the door frame.

"Erm. Thanks, Ms. Ae-" I stopped, noticing the bright red nails, including the fingers attached had vanished.

And I was once again alone in this maelstrom of beauty.

----------------------------------

Finding my way about this maze of a school was going to prove to be extremely challenging. It had taken me dozens of attempts at turning right, left, backwards, forwards, and strangely enough diagonally at times to reach room 217. I had even managed to circle around the same hallway a total of three times already- only knowing this because the same portrait of a deathly pale priest stared sinisterly at me through black eyes each time I passed it.

Making a mental note as to not pass by that corridor ever again, (unless absolutely necessary!) I read the name plate on the side of the door- "Madame Beasley: French for Beginners."

_Breathe, Sora._

And breathe I did.

Turning the gold lacquer handle of the door, I tried remaining as calm as possible before having to plunge myself into this room full of people- guys my age, I didn't know. I'm sure it was the creak of the door that immediately gave away my presence when I saw every single head snap backwards in my direction.

Perhaps it was the awkwardness of being "the new kid," or the stupid uniform I was not used to that made me so self conscious. The uniform wasn't too bad, but it was a little tight. It consisted of black, fitted pants, with a white cotton, button down shirt. On the edge of the shirt lay sewn the emblem of Saint Helena. The shirt was to be tucked in during class, a black tie adorned at the neck, and a matching black jacket to be worn as well.

Feeling my cheeks already formulating pink, I shuffled towards the lone female- assuming her to be Madame Beasley.

However, I hadn't made it nearly three steps towards the woman before she sauntered over towards me, her showy skirt swishing beneath her feet. Madame Beasley's appearance was rather amusing- the same bright lipstick and nail polish as Ms. Aerieth had on was painted in the same fashion upon this blonde woman's face and fingers, complete with earrings longer than her head and neck combined.

Were all of these employees as colorful as this? Back at home, I had never seen such flashy makeup or clothing. Coming from a quaint island, most inhabitants chose modest clothing and women never wore such bright cosmetics. Perhaps the women here shared their makeup?

"Nous avons un nouvel étudiant, classe! S'il vous plaît parole bonjour au Sora," those almost scary nails had wrapped themselves around my shoulder.

"Bonjour, Sora." The entire room echoed to me. Funny, because I had no idea what the hell they had been saying. They could have been saying, "Go away, Sora," or "Go to hell, Sora." Considering, Madame Beasley continued on, I assumed it had been something polite.

"Vous pouvez prendre le siège vide à côté de Tidus. Soulevez s'il vous plaît votre main, Tidus."

Now, take into account that I had never even heard a foreign language spoken my entire life- much less could understand properly and respond to commands given in that particular tongue. French sounded much like a pair of snakes slithering about, wrapping themselves around me in twisting and looping patterns. I never liked snakes- nor did I believe I would enjoy French class.

Giving her a questioning look, Madame Beasley did nothing but spin on her heels and return back towards the front of the classroom. Not only was their makeup similar, but the ability to resist my pouty face (it was ohhh so cute, if I do say so myself!) was inevitable as well. Perhaps I would have to learn a new way to get what I wanted.

Luckily for me, I noticed someone with their hand raised, flailing away in the air.

"Sooooorrrra! Over heeeere!" the kid whispered while motioning towards the vacant seat next to him.

Not wanting to piss off Madame Beasley on my first day, I immediately rushed over towards the unoccupied desk.

"Thanks," I timidly said while situating myself and pulling out an unused notebook and pen. "I'm Sora," I smiled while holding out my hand- all in hopes we were being inconspicuous enough for the Madame.

"I know that, Sora! Jeeze, she just told us your name!"

"She did?"

What?

"You're going to have a tough time in this class if you didn't even catch that!" Mutual smiles now existed as he took hold of my outstretched hand. "But, I'll help you! I'm Tidus by the way."

We didn't speak to each other for another good thirty minutes or so. During that time, I completely ignored Madame Beasley's endless jabbering and took it upon myself to take notes from the first chapter of the French book instead.

_Bonjour... hello. Okay, good! Maybe this won't be so hard, Sora! Hm. S'il vous plaît... please. Well that's not so bad, but the spelling is kinda weird. Sea.. food.. plate. Yes!_

Oh, who was I kidding?

"Gah! This is so difficult!"

"It is at first, but you become used to it."

"Madame Beasley, may I please speak to you for a moment?" a mature voice echoed from across the room.

"Oui?" she left the board, and gracefully walked over to the owner of the voice. I couldn't get a look at him but I didn't really care either.

"Hey, you noticed the sea food plate thing too!" Tidus must have discovered my notes.

"Yeah! Maybe all of French can be broken up like that!"

"Let's see..." Tongue extended in thoughtfulness, he exclaimed "I always thought Bonjour looked a bit like Bon Jovi."

Tidus and I seemed to be getting along pretty well. He was a seemingly nice guy- strange enough, he even looked like me. Well, I had dark brown hair- and his was blonde, but it was even long and spiky like mine. We were both about the same size, and had deep blue, widened eyes. Weird. It was if I could have been looking forward into a mirror. If this was what one would call, "meeting your reflection," I would agree that it was possible.

The only thing I felt hatred for at this time (besides the French language,) was the concept of irony. Irony is, was, and continues to act cruel. I loved the fact that I had seemed to make a friend in almost no time flat. What I didn't love, was the fact that this was the first time in all seventeen years I had been able to make a friend.

"Class, please take the rest of the period to study. I have pressing matters to attend to."

_English! Thank God!_

Glancing up, I noticed that she was leaning over her rickety desk, pen furiously writing on a sheet of paper. There was someone with their back towards the room, obviously a student- the uniform giving away his identity. I couldn't see his face, as I told you- his back was turned. All I could tell was that his hair was silver in color and reached a few inches just below his shoulder blades.

_Silver hair? Weird. That's not exactly a normal hair color._

"Oh please," Tidus murmured next to me.

I shot him a questioning glance. "Who's that?"

"Exactly the one person you don't want to meet while you're here."

"Why?"

Tidus turned to face me, the center of both our pupils meeting in exactly the same radius. He looked almost indignant that I had even questioned his opinion. "His family's really wealthy."

The silver-haired guy turned to face towards us. Even more shocking than his hair were his eyes- the lightest shade of aqua I had ever gazed upon in my life. Narrowing those haunting eyes, he continued to walk towards the door I had just entered almost an hour ago. He was handsome, appeared to be well built. A shock of jealousy rang through me as I glanced back down at my own puny set of arms.

_Where do these people COME from!_

"So... that makes him a bad guy?"

"Nope."

Bang!

The onomonepia echoing from the door signified he was gone.

_He didn't have to slam the door..._

"Then what?"

"His family invests a lot of money in this school. They practically own it. That being said, he believes he DOES own this school. Stay away from him, he's bad news. If you're on his bad side, he'll be sure to make life for you here a living hell."

"Oh. I get it." But I didn't really.

"Basically, he gets whatever he wants- when he wants. He skips class, never does his homework, leaves campus, and yet it's all okay. There hasn't been a single rule broken by that guy. I haven't really talked to him, but I get the impression he's probably a snob. Personalities aside, it's still frustrating when you do everything you're told and someone else is getting by without having to do anything! No doubt he just got out of class early to go off and do whatever it is he does."

Oh I understood now. How frustrating that was!

What's his name?" I asked, hoping my questions wouldn't bother Tidus any further.

"Riku."

"Well, as long as he doesn't bother me.. what's with his hair?"

"Yeah. Well. I'm not sure about that one. But there are a few weird looking people here."

We paused in silence.

"Hey, Sora! Where are you rooming?"

"Room 7-0-5!"

"Ah, I'd come to visit you, but I don't like the seventh floor. It's creepy." Tidus motioned to me with his interpretation of a zombie like posture.

"How so?"

"Ah, nothing. You'll eventually figure it out on your own anyway."

Before I could continue trying my best to pry anymore information out of Tidus, the bell rang- school was over, French was over, my first day of school was officially at an end.

Being closest to the door, we made it out of French class first. Doors on every side of the hallways were swinging open, masses of black and white pouring out from their depths. I hadn't realized that the school was in fact quite large. I assumed from about the fifth floor on up consisted of purely student and teacher dormitories. If I had to guess, I'd say there were a total of probably five hundred boys attending Saint Helena's boarding school.

Actually, that was a small number compared with my own high school back home.

"Sora, catch you later! Be sure to find me tomorrow at lunch- I won't be at dinner tonight!" Tidus was already halfway down the hall before I could reply.

Suddenly, a warm sensation filled my insides. Like my blood had immediately turned into a bubbly, pink liquid, flowing through my veins- sending, for once, positive emotions towards my brain, fingertips... my heart.

I felt, for the first time, a sense of purpose and love. Meager love and purpose- Tidus and I weren't that close after all.

According to the clocks (there seemed to be one on each corridor,) the time was now 7:30. I had a couple of hours to kill before deciding to return to my room and sleep.

But I really didn't have any idea as to what I should be doing- the only person I knew well enough to talk to was Tidus, and it wasn't likely that I would manage finding him at this point.

Dinner was a no- shower, a definite no. Being naked, even though behind a concealed shower, around a whole bunch of males didn't sound very appealing to me at the moment. I made up my mind to shower first thing tomorrow morning. Besides, sleeping on wet hair with such gravity defying spikes as mine were- not a good idea.

With nothing else TO do, I ventured back up the five flights of stairs I had just descended from upon arriving at Saint Helena's. Luckily I had found a pattern for finding room 705. If taken the flight of steps right next to Madame Beasley's room and continued upwards by using those steps only, I would arrive in a hallway very close to my room. Taking the first right, and then one left, I would be on the exact wing where my room existed. I tried remembering this by making notes of some objects along the way. There was a rusty set of nails, all puncturing the walls in a circular pattern next to the staircase I was to use- and even a loose floorboard that would make a loud "creak!" when stepped upon next the first "right turn" hallway.

Disturbingly enough, I seemed to be one of the very few people on the seventh story.

Perhaps what Tidus had mentioned about this particular floor being rather "creepy," was true. Perhaps not many people occupied rooms up here because something sinister lurked about.

This was a Catholic church after all. Many legends and horror stories could be given birth to in such a setting...

"Oh knock it off, Sora!" I muttered to myself, while turning the silver key in my door. "You're too old for ghost stories."

The room was exactly how I had left it- neat, organized. Well, minus one thing. Whoever my roommate was had left a folded uniform on top of their bed. Letting curiosity get the best of me, I ventured over to the uniform and looked at it's neat state.

Exactly like mine. Well, it looked a little bigger.

Ah, well. I had French homework that needed to be complete and the time was now 8:00.

_Eight? It took me half an hour to get up here!_

Time seemed to slip away even more quickly, disappearing into invisible negatives of the universe as I poured through my French book. The assignment seemed simple enough, yet, coming to French three weeks after school had started, I was behind the entire introductory chapter.

_Write a letter to a parent telling them how you feel about your experiences at boarding school thus far._

Let it be known I had spoken maybe a total of fifty words to my parents ever since I was born. Much less, written a letter or not to them telling them about something as fragile as my feelings.

_Dear Mom and Dad. I hate you. Please never speak to me ever again for as long as I live, but you probably won't have any difficulty with that task. Thanks. Your son, Sora._

Somehow sensing that was inappropriate for Madame Beasley, I quickly changed it, writing to a set of idealistic parents whom love was a mutual understanding between the three of us.

I finally finished the assignment in about an hour and a half. I wasn't sure if I had correctly written the letter or not, nor did I care. What was enticing my senses at the moment, however, was my new bed. I undressed, slipping into a white tee-shirt and dark red boxers. I let myself slide completely under the sheets, allowing them to engulf my entire body in a haven of comfort and warmth.

Sleep would not arrive. I wished for nothing more than it to bear it's peaceful mane and allow me to reach out and grasp it- however, sleep as much as irony, was cruel that night.

Another hour passed, marking the time at 11:30. I had completely given up on sleep, and instead had been formulating hypotheses in my mind as to where my roommate was. Miss. Aerieth had informed me early this morning that all students were to be in bed by 10:00, and no later.

"Maybe he's sick. Or maybe he's in trouble... maybe he snuck out. Or maybe everyone here isn't a goody-goody like you, Sora, and doesn't obey the rules to an exact t."

No sooner had I been voicing my opinions had I heard a loud commotion outside of the door. Obviously, my roommate was about to arrive, but what should I be doing? Acting casual no doubt.. yet I didn't want to just sit up in bed and stare at the door. That would probably make him believe I was the horror of floor seven and needed the local exorcist to come immediately down and rid me of such weird behavior.

Ultimately, I decided to lay down and keep my eyes fixated on the dark, wooden ceiling. Not two seconds later, the door loudly crashed open, followed by an even louder, "THUD!"

I didn't dare move.

"Hey, stop! He's sleeping!" A familiar voice grew distantly from my bed. My ears perked up, straining to hear the hushed conversation.

"Okay, okay! We're leaving- but remember, don't tell a soul!"

"Yeah, I know. Take it to the grave."

"Goodnight, Riku. I hope the bed bugs bite the fuck out of you."

"So it's mutual. Now get out."

_RIKU?_

_My roommate was RIKU? The one Tidus had warned me to stay away from like the plague? Destiny herself was becoming bitchier by the progressing seconds, and I seemed to be number one on her hit list._

I shut my eyes tightly as soon as the light from outside had slowly trickled away from the room. It was pitch black for only a few seconds, before a lamp on the opposite side of the room was flicked on.

"Sorry if I woke you up," his voice called from the right.

I didn't answer him.

"Falling asleep before I got here? That's not very polite, Sora."

He knew my name?

"I guess I'll excuse it this time."

Excuse it?

"Who knows? Maybe we'll be friends. Maybe."

And perhaps we would. I could sense some shuffling about the room, but didn't dare open my eyes in order to see what he was doing.

"Goodnight- even though you can't hear me. It's kind of cool to have a roommate now."

Riku didn't seem so bad. In fact, I felt a bit ashamed that I hadn't answered him. In the morning, I decided, I would talk to him. I couldn't avoid this person forever, just as I couldn't escape many other things far worse in life- death, destiny. Irony.

"_Goodnight," I silently whispered to myself. _

I slept not one minute August Sixteenth.

------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: I hope that was a good start. Probably a slow one, but things get down right heated- and soon. It's summer so I'll be having plenty of time to work on this, so don't fear- I'm not an author who abandons her work for years and years. :) **LAST NOTE be sure to let me know if the format appears messed up- symbols and such. I'm typing this on an Apple computer so I'm not sure how will like that. Also, be sure to let me know if the French mentioned here was extremely messed up in anyway. **I don't take French, I'm actually going into my 5th year of Spanish so I was relying quite heavily on online translators- which can be not so trustworthy.


	2. Chapter 2 Venom

Author's Note: This chapter's a bit longer, but it contains two very important scenes! So read carefully, because they contain "clues" as to what happens later on and build up towards the plot! (YES there is a plot here!) I disclaim some things I write which aren't completely thought up on my own. Some are based on lyrics which I obviously don't own. If you can guess any of them, you win at life wink Okay, I'll shutup now. And please try to review! The previous ones were so sweet and extremely appreciated!

**Diabolical Rapture Chapter 2: Venom**

With the blink of an eye, 11:00 P.M. transformed into 6:00 A.M. My plan of action to approach Riku this morning had been gnawing at my mind throughout the entity of those seven hours, forcing me to toss and turn with restlessness. On the other hand, _Riku_ didn't appear to be a very noisy sleeper. When I say this, I mean he didn't snore, toss, or turn on clamoring springs while slumbering. Unlike myself, who was accustomed to changing positions every few minutes or so. Finally realizing the abuse from an uncomfortable night's "sleep," my muscles began to riot in pain upon my ascend from the bed. Ow.

Arching my back as gingerly as I possibly could, I decided to make a game out of this by trying to climb out of bed in such a way as to not put a single ounce of pressure on the mattress. My plan- to sneak out of bed without Riku noticing, take a shower, and grab breakfast.

No matter how many times I promised myself I would make an effort to talk to this boy throughout the night, I felt my senses becoming more and more terrified at the reality of having to face him- planning to avoid conversing with him for as long as it was possible. To put it lightly, he "intimidated the hell out of me."

Why? Well because.

Riku appeared to be everything I wasn't.

_How naive._

"Owwwww...," the returning pain to my back snapped me out of my wandering thoughts and back into the reality which I was living. Somehow, throughout thinking over the situation I was stuck in, I had managed to successfully get out of the comfy bed, standing completely perpendicular to the floor. That happened to me a lot- allowing my brain to drift, only to reawaken from it's meandering later to find myself doing something entirely different. I guess in this case that quality had worked towards my advantage- for I had won my little "game."

What I noticed next, however, took away the thrill of the win.

Riku was gone, his bed neatly made. It appeared as if there weren't even a roommate residing with me at all. Almost creepy, how one come come and disappear like that.

_Well that was lucky._

I showered a hurried five minutes, allowing the searing hot water to pass over my body and hair in a somewhat cleansing matter. I liked to pretend I was always extra dirty, the water easily weeding out any impurities from my mind. In fact, when I was little, to increase the thrill, I would make sure to come home extra dirty from the beach. I always felt amazed when the water would gravitate towards clumps of filth on my skin, immediately attacking and engulfing their presence in total valor. Anything, even sile, could obtain redemption.

"_Even these wicked feelings, Father. They can be redeemed, can they not?"_

Luck found me a second time as I spotted Tidus in the dining hall- well in this case, "breakfast" hall. When I spotted that spiky mess of blonde hair, he appeared to be merrily munching away at a mountain full of breakfast items- waffles, pancakes, sausage, eggs, strawberries...

Seeing this, famine struck my starving insides with pain. That's right.. I has skipped dinner. Probably not the most healthy decision at the time, but my body was going to have to suffer until I could conjure up the courage to speak with Riku. Tidus must have noticed my pained state, for he immediately snatched a plate of toast from someone sitting next to him and shoved towards me.

"Sit down," he replied through a mouthful of eggs, patting the seat next to him. "Make room, guys! This is Sora. He's new! So be nice because he's really cool and he's my friend!"

_I had a friend._

I received a few cheerful hellos, my mouth returning them with lit glee. Perhaps I would become friends with these people too? However, I didn't have time at that point to socialize, for I had to bring up the subject of... Riku. Tidus could help me- maybe give me some advice on how to approach the guy?

"Tidus, we have to talk."

"We already are talking, Sora!" Seeing a sliver of worry twisted within my smile, Tidus added, "Ohh, what's already happened? You must be lucky, because nothing's happened for me since this year _started_."

"Ah, well it's nothing really." I _had_ been planning on explaining the entire "situation" with Riku, yet, I couldn't bring myself to do this as I watched him continue to guzzle almost an entire quart of orange juice. In an instant, my confidence had completely drained to empty. That frightened me somewhat.

"Okay! Hey, what's your first period?" His remark made me thankful Tidus wasn't the "questioning" type.

Pulling out the abused sheet of yellow paper, I scanned it for information as to what, where, and when my first class would occur. A void of dread filled me as I answered his question.

"Religion."

------------------------

Religion was interesting, for we didn't learn this particular subject in a musty classroom, sitting in desks, furiously scribbling notes from our assigned textbooks. Instead, students took this class in the actual St. Helena's church- connected to the dormitories around back. Pews replaced desks, a single Bible per student being the substitute for a tattered textbook. Actually, it was rather intriguing, this being my first time even within a church. The atmosphere only added to my intrigue- being inside this ornate structure.

Hell, the outside had been amazing enough. However, only when inside, did the stained glass come alive. Only then did the images in glimmering red and purples seem to move. The gray stone flooring appeared tainted with blood down the center aisle, where a deep crimson carpet lay in a long, ethereal sheet. Statues with paint flaking off the sides were perched high in the many nooks and crannies of the upper floor, dead eyes gazing through ceramic pupils at each student. This kind of church... it never struck me as welcoming or even _holy._ In fact, it kind of terrorized me.

_One statue in particular. It was of Mary. I always liked Mary, she was interesting to learn about. Her entire body was fully painted in luminescent hues of blue. Yet, her eyes were black. I knew this was only a deformity of nature.. but they haunted me. Those eyes._

However, I liked this class. For even more comforting than the looser structure of Religion, was the kind nature of our teacher- nun, Sister Agatha. Unlike my previous experiences with Madame Beasley, Sister Agatha made sure I felt comfortable my first day- explaining concepts repeatedly to the entire class in order to breach my understanding of Catholicism.

Thinking the deal couldn't get any sweeter, it did. Tidus also had this class with me. However, our first and last classes were the only two we shared. This turned out to be a beginner's religion class- given to students who, like myself, were new prior to their freshman year. This led me to assume it was also Tidus' first year, and he was probably just as clueless as I was about religion in general.

Sitting next to the blonde in the first row, he managed to help me work through a few Bible versus. Today, we were studying "Isaiah 14:12-17." Being only an acquaintance to the Bible, I wasn't even sure how to express the different chapters.. psalms... parts of the intricate book. Tidus had tried to explain to me several times, but it never really clicked into my brain. The way in which to tell "what" verse it was meant little to me, rather it was what the verse contained that peaked my interest.

Self love.

The concept seemed simple, yet, it was one I struggled with throughout my entire life. The life I held never appeared to be special or personal, not even _belonging_ to me until this day. Perhaps, because I had never been loved by another person, I had never grown to love myself. I couldn't appreciate who I was- because not ever had another being done the same for me.

Tidus, however, was a bit less interested in the subject than I was.

"Self love. What a bunch of crap! This is religion, not Mr. Roger's class! What's next- how to bake pies for your neighbors? Where's Jesus? That's what I've been wondering about ever since I got here!"

"Shh!"

"I'm just saying.."

"No, not that! I think something important is about to happen!"

"Oh, this? This is communion practice," Tidus now spoke in normal tone, noticing the absence of Sister Agatha. She now was located on the alter, appearing to be fishing around for something of importance. "Communion is one of the sacraments, and we're all about to receive it."

"Sacraments?"

"Yeah, sacraments. There's seven of them- communion being one of them. The others are baptism, marriage reconciliation- stuff like that. We have to receive most of them, or something like that, since we're all new to this Catholic mumbo jumbo. I'm not sure what it does or anything, but all you do basically is walk to the front of the room, make the sign of the cross and eat this nasty wafer thing. After that, you go back to your pew and pray to God."

Ah, that's right baptism. The memories suddenly came back to me. Baptism was the first sacrament. Before arriving, I was required to receive it during a ceremony in which a priest blessed me with holy water. I believe it's purpose was to initiate me into the Catholic church.

"Sign of the cross?"

"You really ARE clueless, Sora! Here, I'll show you." Tidus shifted his position on the pew, facing me from the front at this point. "This is the sign of the cross, and we do it all the time so you'd better learn quickly."

"Um. Okay..."

"Don't worry! It's easy as cake!" Tidus grinned, glistening teeth peeking through his pink lips. Why did everything he say relate metaphorically or literally to food? "First, you have to point your hand towards your heart like this," Tidus doing so as he spoke. "Then you move your hand towards your forehead... then your left shoulder, and you end up at your right shoulder- like a cross. See," Tidus finished making the invisible cross. "Easy."

"Like this?" I asked, mimicking his motions perfectly.

"Yeah, perfect! Well, you have to say stuff while you're doing all that. You say, In The Name Of The Father, The Son, And The Holy Spirit each time you stop at a particular place."

"Ah, I think I've got it. Tidus?"

"Yeah, Sora?"

"Thanks."

"No problem."

In the midst of practicing the sign of the cross (which I was sure I looked really stupid for doing,) Sister Agatha began tapping lightly on the pew in front of her- obviously summoning our attention. I noticed she didn't have those bright red fingernails.

Nail polish. Perhaps it was nun contraband.

Chatter immediately dissipated within thin air, not a single head turned opposite her direction. "Now, we're going to practice communion." Audible groans filled the church, earning grating looks from Sister Agatha. "Today, though. Things will happen a bit differently. You're going to see the altar boys in action!"

_Altar boys in action! Sounds like a lame super hero movie._

Tidus and I snickered at that remark. Altar boys? Yes, it did sound rather lame then, but I later learned that becoming an altar boy was both difficult and prestigious despite the stupid name. As soon as one passed down the aisle, I took into attention the absolute beauty of the "altar boy."

Tidus and I simultaneously gasped. Surely, something as awing as _that_ had to receive a better name than "altar boy!"

A dark-haired teenager strode down the aisle, clad in a thin white robe which floated like butterflies amongst the blood red carpet. Black fabric splashed through the white robe at the bottom and arms, sin meeting purity. Adorned on his head lay a white-lace, silken veil that barely reached the forehead. The most fascinating item of all, lay in his arms. There he held a large, silver cross.

There were several of these altar boys, however, we were not allowed to watch them descend down the aisles as Sister Agatha spoke.

"Naturally, they have already received their communion long ago," with almost a slight annoyance to her voice, she added, "as it is proper." Continuing, she stated, "They are doing us all a very kind favor by helping us out today and will be the ones at your actual communion ceremony as well."

The entire room turned continued to sit in obedience, not a single back slumped in silence. I caught Sister Agatha teetering her way towards the pew I was sitting in. When she reached us, her legs bent in a kneeling position beside the pew and motioned for me to catch her attention. "Sora! Be sure to pay special attention to what the other boys are doing in order to get this right. You do not have much time to learn! After class, I'll be taking you to Father Lionheart after class today for your Reconciliation sacrament. I would have explained it to you.. but it appears Tidus is quite a teacher himself."

I smiled, in both embarrassment for Tidus and nervousness for myself. I always seemed to smile when I was nervous of anxious- it was a way to cover up fear, to appear strong. But reconciliation? Oh, another sacrament.

Communion seemed easy enough. Dismissed by rows, a group of boys would ascend towards the inner sanctuary, take from an altar boy a small, circular wafer such as Tidus had described, eaten it, and performed the sign of the cross before returning to their seats. However, it appeared that before sitting once again, they would kneel at the pew, and execute the sign of the cross one last time. It only looked confusing because one row on each side of the church was dismissed at a time, yet there were exactly three altar boys, perched on the last step of the altar.

"Oh Jesus! Jesus!" Tidus appeared to be freaking out, although that wasn't too out of character for his quirky personality.

"Don't say that, Tidus! We're in a church!"

"No- really. Well, it's not Jesus but just look!" Tidus was pointing in the direction of a certain silver-haired _altar _(?) boy.

Damn it.

The veil perched on top of his head blended with those silvery locks, almost giving him a surrealistic vibe. He seemed so peaceful, beautiful. He was dead center of the altar boys, graceful hands extended, a small bowl clasped between interlocked fingers. The purple stained glass mixed with flickering flames from lit candles at opposite ends of the church, reflecting amongst that pale skin. Riku looked so.. peaceful.

"About him-"

"Yeah? Can't it wait, we're about to go?"

Before I could utter my response, the boy behind me was starting to poke me along gently, coaxing me to stand up and begin walking towards the altar. I gave a meek, "oh, sorry!" before turning my attention back towards Tidus, who was now in line for receiving this "fake communion." Catching up to him, I desperately grabbed a hold of Tidus and whispered towards his ear,

"_HE'S my roommate!"_

Tidus turned to give me a shocked expression, those familiar blue eyes filled with sudden horror. Swirls of white seemed to fade away, ghosts forming on his cheeks. The blonde never did answer me when I told him this, for it was now his turn to receive the.. wafer thing.

I had to be once again prodded from the annoying kid behind me.

"You're suppose to go to the next empty guy, not wait in line!"

"Uh... thanks. Sorry," I apologized again. Christ, I hadn't magically known that! I had _assumed _I would just wait my turn in the same line Tidus had been in. Some kids here were nice, like Tidus, and some could just be.. uppity.

I was horrified to see that _Riku _was the next available altar boy. So much for luck.

Trudging slowly towards him, I held my hands out to receive the wafer. I was terrified of this boy, especially now. His glance shifted, a tiny- smile? forming at the corner of his mouth as he gently placed one of the circular disks into my outstretched palm, while saying something about the Holy Body of Christ. Not sure what that meant, I ate it, only to realize these "wafers" were actually really awful, and tasted of cardboard. As if things couldn't get worse, I immediately forgot how to perform the sign of the cross after finishing that awful stuff.

After trying several times, completely KNOWING my face was tinged red from embarrassment, Riku grabbed my flailing arms, the bowl of gross pieces of "cardboard" now at his feet.

"Here. It's like this." He guided my shaking hands gently in the exact motions Tidus had moments earlier. Interestingly, he paused, our hands intertwined at my heart. "It's okay. A lot of people get confused at first." After we parted, I could only stare at him in utter shock, however, grateful for his help. Although, I knew I was being watched by the entire Religion class... I didn't much care.

I mouthed a quick, "thank you," to Riku before rushing off, repeating the ritual again at the pew, and kneeled in prayer position next to Tidus.

He shot me a quick glance as if to say, "you idiot."

Embarrassingly enough, I couldn't agree more. Focusing my thoughts on the Bible in front of me, I began to pray silently. Not of troubles, not for my parents, not even to make Tidus realize I wasn't an idiot. But..

"_Please, God- if you're listening. I want to be friends with Riku."_

--------------------------

The remainder of the day dissipated into the past in such an ordinary fashion that I cannot recall exactly the events that occurred between Religion to the end of French. I had met a few more boys my age throughout the day, but none which I had bonded with as quickly as Tidus.

Not wanting to stay too long for dinner, I ran into the dining quarters and ran back out in a whirlwind of spiky brown tresses and wrinkled clothes. I took the time only to grab a single apple, for I wasn't terribly hungry. The main purpose of visiting the oversized mess hall was to provide for myself the opportunity to learn a new route in getting back to my room.

I almost amazed myself at how easily I found it- in record time almost. Keys jangled against the lock as I carefully pushed the heavy blockade away from me.

"I got back early just to make sure you wouldn't fall asleep on me again."

_Shit._

Riku was sitting on his bed, legs dangling off the side and a book laying next to his left thigh. He didn't appear angry, rather, a dangerous smirk graced his lips. I recall that smirk had scared the absolute hell out of me.

"...Sorry I did that. And, I'm sorry about.. embarrassing you today."

Riku, however, chose to ignore that apology. Wiping the smirk from his face, he slid from the bed and started to make his way towards me. "You've probably heard about me, so I won't bother to introduce myself. And, I've done my research as well, Sora. Interesting. Your name that is."

Riku was now standing extremely close to me, the proximity of distance between our eyes no longer measurable by mere inches. Standing like this, his intimidation factor soared, maximizing itself doubly. The way his height towered mine, his shoulders more broad and masculine- I felt myself mentally shrink to the size of a kitten. From the looks of it, I couldn't tell whether he wanted to poke my eyes out like the kid from religion class, or tackle me?

I didn't bother to ask why my name interested him. I figured I might as well shut up and allow him to just explain. My instincts proved correct when Riku spun around, instantly allowing space to envelope at my face again.

"Do you know what it means?"

"No..."

"It means sky. My name means land. I came across it last night while studying for an English exam. I just thought that was interesting, that's all."

And that was how I learned the meaning of Sora, my name.

"Anyway," Riku turned once more to face me from across the room. "You'd better not plan on falling asleep so early tonight. We've got plans." That damn smirk returned!

"What-"

"We're going to go out tonight."

"Okay," I replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable about this suggestion. How blatant! We're going out tonight.. who did he think he was? I spoke, what? A few sentences to him, and he was already ordering me around? Eeeh, I didn't like the way he said that phrase either. The tone lingered with deviousness. I'm also sure my voice must have given away my feelings, for Riku quickly pounced back.

"Don't worry," Riku stated while throwing a tied bag towards my head. "I'll make sure you don't get in trouble."

It hit me before I could catch it, making me stumble clumsily on the floor to pick it back up. Riku sure did have an ever astounding effectiveness for making me do stupid looking things. "For wha-"

"Hurry up, we can't be late."

Bag in hand, I followed this silver haired boy out of our dorm room, pausing only when he did to lock our door. He guided me along the right and left turns of old hallways until we reached a black door, almost hidden beneath a pile of wooden chairs and desks on the seventh floor.

Before he could even so much as knock on the mysterious door, it swung open, almost hitting myself and Riku.

"You're late," a red haired boy hissed. He was.. interesting looking. Interestingly intimidating, like Riku. His appearance even almost reminded me of... Christmas? The red hair did bring out his emerald green eyes..

Not to mention the strange inked diamonds underneath those eyes... Did this church cater to weird people?

Riku didn't answer his statement. It must be a habit. Instead he walked haughtily into the darkened room, glancing behind to make sure I was following. Two pairs of feet hit dirty floors, as my spiky locks found colliding paths towards spider's eyes.

"Eek!" I squealed, stepping away from the crawling thing. Spiders really did scare me, even as a seventeen year old. The spider crawled away from my shoes, and into a dark crevice hidden within the wall. I rushed towards Riku and stood next to his towering body, determined to listen to the words he and this red haired guy exchanged.

"Give me the money first," the green-eyed boy spoke again. I wasn't all too shocked to see two other boys sitting on the opposite side, one per side of the flaming red head.

"No, hand over _our_ stuff first." Our stuff? What part did I play in this.. meeting.. other than to accompany Riku?

Almost, defeated looking, Riku unclenched the bag from my grasp and tossed it towards the three. For some reason, perhaps on instinct, I found myself wanting to hold onto that bag- if it would.. _help or protect _Riku from this guy.

"Sora, these are some of my _friends," _sheer acid dripped from his words. If I had been more delusional at the time, I would have sworn I'd seen green liquify at the corner of his mouth, penetrating the floor and burning holes through the filthy wood. "Axel," he stated, pointing the emerald-eyed one, "Roxas," the finger moving towards a blonde, who looked a lot like myself and Tidus. Finally, he introduced me to Wakka, another red head, yet he didn't have those green eyes, nor did he sport the flashy under-eye tattoos.

Axel peaked into the bag, smiled cryptically, and allowed his attention to move towards his pocket. He fumbled for a moment, long fingers clumsily searching within it's depths for something.

Allowing his fingers to breathe once more, he returned within them a bag of his own- throwing it at Riku in a similar fashion to the way my roommate had previously done. Unlike me, Riku caught it, pale fingers ensnaring like tree roots, and pocketed it.

Both parties nodded in response. It seemed, though, Axel's acknowledgment was a venomous one. It hadn't taken long, but I felt as if I had made three new enemies- one in particular deemed very poisonous.

"You may leave now," Axel chanted, smirks crawling onto the faces of all three boys.

Riku turned, pulling me with him. As soon as we poured from the door, it slammed behind us in contempt. Bathed in a shock of pearly moonlight, we ventured down the hall from whence we came.

That was hands down the number one most embarrassing, and weird thing that happened to me thus far. Who WAS Riku? Was he just like Tidus had described- the arrogant, rich kid, or was he someone else? Someone who lurked and hid in secrecy and portrayed himself as the arrogant, rich kid? Either way, I had a bad feeling I would eventually find out the answer to my question.

Howls of laughter echoed from the shut door. I chose to ignore it, not wanting to bring up the subject with Riku. Avoiding what was yet to come probably wouldn't be healthy in the long run, yet I cared about now more. I didn't want to make him angry with me just yet...

We walked for a few minutes in utter silence down a black hallway, until I decided to break this thorn ridden form of omerta. Building up a tiny amount of courage within myself, I broached the subject which had bothered me ever since I saw Riku and his suspicious way of acting only minutes ago. "Riku, what just happened?"

"You finally said my name," his gazed fixed with mine as he chuckled.

"You didn't answer my question." I stopped walking, my feet planted somewhere between two wooden floorboards and a creepy portrait of an older nun which lay broken and cobbwebbed upon the floor. When this sudden spring of confidence had developed inside of me, I wasn't sure. Perhaps I was realizing quickly that Riku was not such an intimidating person, he had flaws and secrets like all normal people. It was possible for me to be on par with him, because I knew he was going to eventually open up and spill his guts out- tell me about these secretes.

"I gave them nothing- you saw nothing." Riku had stopped several feet from my position, adjacent to an ajar balcony. I was struck down in a blaze of stupidity.

The lonely moonlight shone in on him from afar, casting wickedly serene shadows amongst his body. Eerie- it was almost like before during religion. The statement he had made angered me a little, yet the way he appeared now seemed so...

_haunting... just like those eyes..._

So haunting that I couldn't resist the invisible pull tugging at my feet and forcing me towards him.

"Why take me then? What was your motive of bringing me along to some secretive meeting between you and your friends if you didn't want me to know what you were doing?" As Riku shifted slightly at my words, so did the shadows cast on his pale skin, dancing gracefully about, loving the corners of his eyes and mouth.

"Really, it was nothing," Riku stated this as he moved completely from the glimmering moonlight. "I didn't ask you to come along for nothing. You're going to find out eventually, but for now- I'm just playing with you." Damn him. "I wanted to talk to you."

Indignant now, I responded with "You're so cryptic! We haven't even talked before in our lives and now you're lugging me around and not telling me any reason as to why!" The gentle, soft spoken Sora had disappeared completely, I was no longer under his rapturing, intimidating spell.

"I told you why, Sora. I wanted to talk to you."

Riku walked further down the hall, leaving me with no choice but to follow him. I didn't have my copy of our keys in my possession, rendering it useless to trudge back there. Catching up with his pace, we walked side by side in utter silence for a few moments before hitting a dead end.

"This place is full of dead ends. They were used in medieval times to trick enemies. Before this was part of a cathedral, it used to house soldiers."

Riku proved to be extremely intelligent. The way he talked, walked, presented himself- even when he had previously told me about the irony of our names, allowed his elegant nature to shine through.

"Is it haunted?" I asked, tilting my spiky head to the side while remembering the silly statement Tidus had made yesterday.

"_Ah, I'd come to visit you, but I don't like the seventh floor. It's creepy."_

"_How so?"_

"_Ah, nothing. You'll eventually figure it out on your own anyway."_

"That's what some people say." My statement earned a smile from the all-mighty Riku. He wasn't so bad. Likable, actually. I couldn't wait to tell Tidus how _nice _Riku actually was!

Immediately feeling stupid for asking such a question, I replied, "Is that what you say?" Of course Riku wouldn't believe in ghost stories. People like him never did.

"Maybe."

Okay.. so maybe I had misjudged him. Twice. In all honestly, I was the bad guy FOR judging him.

"Maybe?"

"Yeah," he turned to me, that memorable smirk plastered onto his pink lips once again. "Weird stuff goes on around here sometimes." Seeing my newly horrified expression, he added, "Don't worry about it though. The boogeyman knows better than to screw around with me. If he comes near our room, I'll kick his ass. He messes tracks dirt on the floor."

A smile escaped from my lips. Like the effervescence of pressure between air, Riku's personality began to grow on me, infecting me each time he spoke. It was mesmerizing the way he twisted words and sounded so casual at the same time. Depending on the tone and syllables stressed, each thing he said could be taken very arrogantly. Yet, when Riku spoke, it sounded more so comforting- friendly.

"Good, because I don't like the boogeyman."

"That makes two of us."

We walked back together, only casual conversation occurring along the way. Key gently resting within it's lock, Riku paused before pushing the door to room 705 open.

"Sora?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for coming along with me tonight. You may not understand why, but you will eventually like I said. I like you, and I want you to be my friend."

_Funny how people can be so different from what you perceive them to be..._

"I like you too."

"You'd better," Riku haughtily stated, turning the door handle and allowing the partition to swing open.

"Hey!"

"No, really. If I didn't like you, you'd be having a miserable time."

"So I've heard."

"Who told you that?" A slightly annoyed tone entered his voice.

"Nobody."

I casually flipped myself onto my unmade bed, allowing my legs to swing over the sides much like the manner in which Riku's had earlier that night. Riku was looking at me with a contempt smile, arms loosely folded at his chest.

"You have homework?"

"None."

"Well _I_ do, so try not to snore too loudly." The infamous smirk returned.

If what Tidus had passed on to me before, Riku would have been able to skip his nightly assignments. He could have just made up some lame excuse- completely blown this work aside and gone to sleep. Perhaps what Tidus had said hadn't been the truth, or at least not the entire truth.

"Ummm, Riku? Could I ask you a favor?"

"Depends."

"I have to get undressed..."

"We're both guys."

"Right."

---------------------

A few weeks passed like this, Riku and I talking momentarily at night to one another. With the passing days, I grew to appreciate his company more and more and even began to consider him a friend. Granted, he never set eyes on me during classes- but then again, neither did I with him. Occasionally, he would fill me in on really juicy blackmail he had collected over the years about different teachers, priests, and nuns.

"_And our French teacher, Madame Beasley?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_My friend Cloud and I once caught her in the Algebra room giving Mr. Snope a blow job."_

"_REALLY?"_

"_Yeah- and you won't believe the story about the gym teachers-"_

I felt bad, because nothing I could tell him ever amounted to anything as interesting as what he told me. He's ask me about home life, and I'd dance around the subject of my parents. He seemed rather close with his, so I didn't want to tell him that I in all honesty hated my own.

Everyone at this point _knew_ we were roommates. That was hot gossip. New, stupid kid getting stuck in a room with the snotty, high-class, practically owner of the entire school kid.

Most people I met passed me in the hallways with one of either two looks:

First was the "sympathetic," glance. It would appear as if the person were silently apologizing for my predicament- for just sharing, breathing, and sleeping in the same room as Riku.

The next, was a bit more hostile. This look would relay, "Who do you think you are? Staying with Riku? He's way too good for you!"

Either way, the feelings represented by this were completely polar and usually very extreme. Middle ground was non existent. So it seemed, you either hated the guy, or loved him.

Personally, I didn't see the big deal. The gossip, the looks- they surely couldn't be the prize for sharing a room with.. another person? No matter WHO they were!

But how wrong I seemed to be. Living entirely within a boarding school for so long, I realized that this gossip was all many boys had to cling onto, somewhat like a life support. I suppose I could tap into these emotions easily because I myself felt rather _bored _and _alone _for most of my entire life. Words spread like fire, lapping at the hungry ears of black clothed boys throughout the halls. It was.. almost frighteningly interesting.

Riku and I hadn't visited his friends during these few weeks. Once, he left the room himself, but told me not to follow. I obeyed his wishes, Tidus' words from the very first day of school still a reminder in my somewhat confused brain. Plus, I didn't want another encounter with Axel, Roxas, or Wakka.

However, my yearning to please Riku gave me a security blanket, yet scared me at the same time. Was I this easily manipulated? Could Riku really tell me to do anything, and successfully get me to actually do it?

Yes.

One night, though, a date that my memory fails to recall, something changed our relationship quite a bit. Odd enough, I am surprised I cannot remember when this occurred exactly- I usually make it a habit to mentally take note of important dates. This night, however, Riku brought up the testy subject we encountered the night we had snuck out.

"Sora, I'm going to let you in on a secret. But- only if you promise me you won't tell anyone. And, if you also promise to go along with it."

Eyes of deep sapphire lay frozen like embedded ice caps. This kind of conversation had been the type I had feared, yet always knew would inevitably occur. "I promise." My consent was voiced, sealing my fate at that moment. I was sure I'd be finding out a bit more about the REAL Riku- the soul hidden beneath the tough exterior.

Instead of answering me, Riku's hands slipped underneath his mattress, returning with a small bag- much like the one he had given to me before. Feeling a moment of de ja vu coming on, Riku threw the bag across the room. It landed next to my outstretched fingers, motionless. Something about this bag allowed for my insides to twist like spiders, ticking my ribcage and pushing sudden nausea towards my throat.

"Open it."

I obeyed.

"Riku!" I yelled, gasping his name. I had an idea of what this was. Within the innocent-looking bag lay a bundle, a large bundle, of some sort of drug.

"I couldn't keep it from you any longer- you would have eventually found out."

"Riku!"

"It's really not that big of a deal, I give it to those guys you met before, and they pay me in return. We both don't want anyone to find out, so we keep it a secret. No worries."

"Riku!"

"Stop saying my name! Honestly, it's not even that big of a deal."

"Is this what you've been doing when you visit those guys? Axel was his name? You're giving him _drugs?_" My words slammed into each other like speeding cars from my voice box being under the influence of my heavy adrenaline. Not only was Riku scary, and nice at the same time- he was a damn drug dealer!

"That's not just any drug, Sora. It's cocaine. And I haven't been _giving_ them anything. I've been _selling _it to them." Riku's tone frightened me. He was so serious all of a sudden. Well, true, he was always serious. This was a different serious.

"Are you-"

Finishing my sentence, he replied, "doing it? Hell NO! If I were snorting it myself, I wouldn't be making such a nice profit off of it!" Riku was now smiling, a smile knotted in the corners of his face with maniac pride. "Here, give it back to me. I wasn't asking for YOU to use it either."

"Riku..." I reluctantly handed him back the bag of cocaine. Somehow, in a whirlwind of confusion, I had lost all sense of how to converse with this guy- my thoughts only reflecting upon his name.

"Sora..."

I sat there, staring at him in blank resentment. He had put on a facade the entire time- pretending he was a nice guy, misunderstood, and actually cared for me enough to establish our relationship.

"I had to tell you." His face twisted- in sorrow?

"... I know." My hands twisted into my hair out of sheer exhaustion. It overwhelmed me, emotionally and physically, to the point of not being able to properly function.

"I'm sorry. I..," pausing, Riku let out a whimpering moan of defeat. "I really am. But I had to tell you. And that look you're giving me-"

"What!"

"You look angry, or upset. Either way, I don't want you to be angry or upset with me."

I didn't answer him. I suppose he expected to hear, _"Oh, it's okay, Riku. I'm not mad." _Those words never escaped from my lips.

"Well.. I had to tell you."

"You said that."

"No, I had to tell you because we have to deliver it tonight."

"We?"

"Yes, we."

Reluctantly, I found myself following him outside our room. What seemed like an eternity of my feet shuffling against upswept wooden floor, we arrived again at that same door. Riku didn't even bother to knock this time.

Axel appeared to have ESP, for he was able both times to sense the moment in which we arrived, always opening the termite ridden door for our presence.

Compared to the rest of the building, the seventh floor deemed itself quite decrepit.

However, this time, instead of walking into the room, Axel kept us at the door frame. Riku shoved his way in front of me, cold aqua eyes junctioned with jade.

"We're going to be doing things... _differently_ tonight." Axel was maddening, the way he handled himself. Exquisitely, but eerie- the way his arms moved with his words. If arms had meaning, they would match perfectly with his speech.

"And what do you mean by _different?_"

"I mean, why don't we let him in on the fun, Riku." A bony finger now pointed at me.

Shit.

"You never even told me his name!" He wasn't showing it physically, but I could tell. On the inside, Axel was laughing, derision intoxicating his whole being, filling his organs with suds of riot. "We're going to play a little game."

The blonde one spoke for the first time. "Yeah, he's coming with me," Roxas stated, grabbing and pulling me aside. I didn't even attempt to struggle against his strength, which held a surprisingly large impact amongst my small frame. "What's your name? Since _Riku _won't tell us."

I hiccuped words for a moment, turning to face Riku. Bastard! He wasn't even attempting to rescue me this time! When it seemed to matter most- forget about assisting me when the sign of the cross! This situation appeared far more _serious._

"Sora..."

"Well, Sora," Axel's voice echoing the silent hall. "Take this bag," he casually told me, handing over another infamous small pouch, "and go into the confessional. You can sit there all night long in fact. As you may or may not know, it's forbidden to step place in there without a religious official- much less sleep in there. With _that. _I don't care _how _you manage, just go and stay put. Hell, you can fall asleep for all I care. Just try to be a good little _kitten_ and not get discovered by any of the priests come morning."

"You can't be serious! He'll be expelled! Axel, that's not fair- Sora hasn't done anything to you!" Riku reached forward, only to be stopped abruptly by Wakka's strong arm. The silver haired of the two was obviously stronger, yet he allowed Wakka to block his attack.

Roxas, however, chose to shove me a little. "We're serious. Hey, Sora. Do you know where Riku gets this from?"

"No?" I squeaked, looking at Riku for help. He wasn't looking back.

"He steals it- from the office. They've been investigating who's been taking the stuff for _years. _Imagine what'll happen when they find YOU with it." Roxas returned.

Riku finally chose to speak up, allowing myself to grasp to a ledge of small but existent hope. "What is the point in all this? Why aren't you doing it to me? I'm the one you hate! Picking on kids.. you guys are lame."

My hope vanished. Taking into context those words, it didn't appear that Riku was going to help me out.

"You're right on all accounts, Riku. You always were sharp," the green-eyed boy hissed. "As for a worse punishment, we saved that part for you. After all, Sora really hasn't done anything to us." Axel paused, enjoying this round of fright and mocking Riku's previous statements. "You get to stay with us in the repository. You'll get to hear them _scream_ when they discover dear Sora in the morning."

"You're sick-"

"I'm brilliant."

Roxas began prodding me in the back to walk forwards. Perhaps he was the same annoying kid who had been doing it earlier and was now back for blood- for interrupting his smooth communion practice.

Reluctantly, I followed. I knew I was heading towards social homicide. If discovered like said, surely I would be expelled- shunned, deemed a modern day Antichrist.

Time stretched on as we reached the church, a requiem of my own expulsion creating itself in my mind, playing over and over with maniac persistence. What time was it anyway? It couldn't be too late...

All five of us marched down the red carpeted aisle, well.. kind of. I was rather dragged by Roxas. Nearing the end, Axel hurried ahead of our small quintet, rushing towards one of the tall, wooden confessional boxes and opening it's creaking door. Finally letting myself struggle against Roxas' tight hold, I kicked and flailed arms in infinite directions, small screams and gasps echoing from my voicebox.

My tactics weren't successful. I could only glance back, defeated towards Riku.

"Sorry. If I had known...," that graceful, silver head turned from facing me, his arms limp in conquer.

I couldn't bring myself to respond as my arms, too, allowed themselves to be manipulated by Roxas'. He pressed against me roughly, before grabbing round shoulders and throwing me inside the box forcefully.

"Don't try any funny stuff, kid. It's locked," Axel flashed a golden key in front of my crystalized eyes. Emotion wept throughout my blood- fear, anger, sorrow lurching themselves down my folded appendages and through the tips of my nerves, sending overwhelming signals to a confused brain.

I only heard Riku shout, "You should never have told them your name!" as I sat, feeling roughly violated on the floor.

That hair- the essence of flames, was the last thing I saw before he slammed the door. A loud "crack!" following the violent action, as the foundation of the confessional swayed slightly.

Now completely shrouded in black, I tried to let me eyes adjust to any form around me. I was afraid- afraid of the dark and anything remotely dangerous. The absence of light allowed for the formation of a moist tears to well in my eyes. Cheeks that were once cold grew dampen as these tears flew freely down my face.

This was the worst possible way to come to my realizations. Riku was not as strong as he appeared- that was mere facade. I saw him, the true Riku, for the first time that night. Images of everyone- Tidus, Aerieth... I had finally made friends. I had accomplished a feat so simple, yet so incredibly difficult for me outside of Saint Helena's. Now, misfortunate bared it's grimy face towards me, mocking me. It only allowed me a small taste of normalcy, and now it was being snatched away.

My lips quivered rapidly, mouth parted and echoing small sobs. Curling my legs on dirty flooring, underneath my shuddering frame, I bent my head backwards and screamed for him in a desperate plea.

**How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! _how_ art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit. They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, _and_ consider thee, _saying, Is_ this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms; _That_ made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof; _that_ opened not the house of his prisoners? (Isaiah 14:12-17 AV)**

----------------------

**Author's Note: **Bleh, I had been writing the part that happens after Sora screams originally.. in this chapter. But then, things would have gotten out of hand, and I wouldn't have had a place to end. Besides, I like cliffs. All the teachers are disclaimed by me- for I own them here, but not in real life. These are the actual names and personalities of MY teachers. Hah. I guess if I get yelled at for portraying them badly, I'll know they like yaoi oO

Forgive me if any of the Catholic info is wrong. It's been a looooong time since I first got the communion sacrament (I was about 7!) so I tried to remember how we practiced as best I could. Same goes for the altar boy appearence.. that's not REALLY how they look, but hey. I'm trying to set a romantic mood. And the Eucharists really do taste like cardboard. Review please?


	3. Chapter 3 A Promise I Intend To Keep

**Author's Note: **Eh okay. Let me say, I LOVE Axel and Roxas, but I had to sadly stick them as the bad guys XX I know. I made this chapter more fluffy, but finally the plot is revealed! (And why Axel's being such a mutha!) Sleep overs and mushy Riku lay ahead! But, watch out for angst! Riku too. (Although when is he not? xx) But I tried listening to Diabolical Rapture on repeat while editing this chapter. (**My beta's gone this summer, so if anyone'd like to beta lemme know via review or email!**) Note that I changed my penname to **VittaMelody **because I didn't like my old one, for I wasn't able to put the accent mark in, and because this one matches my other screen name from another site. Slight OCD case XD Also be known that marks represent memories.

I realized I had forgotten to include a **Disclaimer. I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Sora, Riku, Axel, Roxas, Wakka, Tidus, Aereith.. **but I can and WILL make them do naughty things hehe.

Thankyou again to reviewers! Some of you reviewed twice for Chapters 1 and 2- well, you all rock hard. So for those of you guys, **Sekre, StormDarkblade, angel-yuripa, **this chapter is dedicated to yooou.

**Diabolical Rapture Chapter 3: A Promise I Intend to Keep**

I wasn't sure exactly how much time had passed, but I soon realized I had fallen into slumber's arms the moment I woke up- feeling the disgusting presence of sleep in the corners of my eyes mixed with lingering, dried tears. I had long ago discarded the bag filled with that vile substance, thrown it in anger against the wooden frame of the box. That only proved to make me angrier, being unable to hear a satisfying "SMACK!" as is exploded softly against the wood grain of the confessional.

I sat quietly for several minutes, still pondering about the time. How much longer did I have left? An hour? Two? Perhaps three to sit and contemplate my inevitable expulsion?

A sudden commotion from outside broke me from these depressing thoughts. I couldn't tell exactly what was being yelled, but I could decipher the obvious voices of Riku and Axel. Angry, but faint voices, the confinement within the thick walls of the confessional blocking out most of the words.

However, it gave me a little hope, and I wiped dried tears from their ducts, pressing my face closely to the door. I would have starting to bang on the door, demanding to be let out, but my request was fulfilled before I was able to voice it. Light reamed in from the outside, illuminating the obscure and whipping the remaining tears on my face. Before my brain could calculate what was happening, Axel was grabbing both of my arms, and my body was being thrown violently across the stone floor of the church.

"Ow," I choked through sobs. A flash of silver, and I saw Riku rushing to my side, kneeling, and helping me off of the floor.

"Axel, you didn't have to hurl him around like a-"

"Like a what?" Snakelike as ever.

Silence.

Axel broke the silence with a small laugh. "Riku, Riku. I've told you a thousand times. Before you go around saving people, you have to save yourself. If you want to be the good guy, don't rescue him while you're still moping over your own crap."

Roxas spoke up, not facing either one of us. "You know, Riku, we're going to tell everyone now- the school, your parents..."

_What the heck?_

"I know," Riku answered cooly. "But it just wasn't the same as last time.." Defeated, Riku grabbed my arm and forcefully walked me out of the church- leaving Axel, Roxas, and Wakka in utter hysterics behind us. It was around 5:00 A.M.

In my own words, it appeared, the snake had reared its fangs, bitten each of us, and infected our bodies with it's venomous kiss.

We reached our room without any exchange of words. Riku opened the door, shoving himself in first, I, following closely at his back. Well, more like being dragged. He then released my arm as soon as the two of us were in the room.

Almost in perfect symmetry, each of us flopped onto opposite beds and turned to face each other. I was overwhelmed with relief, curiosity. I wouldn't be expelled after all.. and Riku was to thank for both getting me into the situation in the FIRST place, as well as helping me out of it. What was THAT all about? What did he and Axel share besides hatred? And further more, what kind of trouble was Riku in now?

I didn't want to, but something within me compelled me to ask him _why?_

"What just-" I stopped. Riku looked like a mess- the strength and beauty from his once handsome face drained and twisted in mismatching features.

"I can't tell you.."

"Yes you can!" I whispered across the room, rising from the bed and sitting up, ears perked for a response.

He sighed, rising from his own bed and striding towards me with exhaustion. I moved my hand that had been propping my body's position up, patting the spot next to me. Sitting down where I had gestured, he replied, "It's complicated."

"We have time... I'll skip breakfast! Just tell me!" I noticed his eyes shifting in... nervousness? Confusion? "Riku!" Anger flaring, I now gasped as violently and as loudly as I could, seeing as he was right next to me, "I was just locked in a tiny little BOX thing for most of the night because of something you did or said! You OWE it to me.. to _tell _me what for!" My sudden shock of anger surprised the both of us.

"I can't tell you.. everything. But, I'll start explaining if you promise me two things."

"I promise..."

"Promise me first of all- none of this is ever told to another person. If you tell someone else, I'll kill you." Well that was comforting.

"Ooookay. Since you put it that way.. But, you won't have to worry about it anyway- I prooooomise that I won't tell anyone anything you're about to say!"

Riku chuckled a little at my childish response before retorting back. "Okay, second. Please, Sora. Please don't _ever_ scream like that again." Riku's brows furrowed in thought, his request confusing me a little.

"Why?"

"Brings back memories..." I reached out to touch him, letting my fingertips graze the ends of that silver hair. He in turn grabbed my hand, pulling it towards his chest. "I'm so fake, Sora. Only you.. and those three bastards know that. You and I? We're not even that close- as far as friends, or best friends go. Yet... you know... I'm just.."

Never had Riku spoken with such hesitancy. He was broken, battered, and extremely hurt about something. This pain went far beyond his stupid cocaine dealing- this pain came from within, emotionally. Something was wrong with him deeply.

And it frightened me.

"It's okay," I tried coaxing him towards me. Instead, he reversed the action and pulled me fully towards his own heart. I felt tense at this contact- it was something I hadn't ever experienced. And, I didn't really like it either. But, I stayed put for Riku's sake. Jeeze. Would he use this against me now?

Riku didn't say anything in response until I began to shift in discomfort. "Axel.. is a show friend. We keep up appearances. But, it's safe to say we hate one another. A lot."

I only listened to him. It didn't seem like he was speaking to me personally, in fact, rather- voicing his own thoughts out loud. It was strange, for Riku never liked to share his deeper thought provoking interests with me. Sure, we talked about dumb stuff, but never anything remotely like that. Well, besides my parents... but I knew whatever Riku was hiding was far worse than my own situation.

"Can we talk about this some other time?" Riku broke completely from the embrace, sending me sprawling across the bed without his body as a support system. I could only nod sadly, not wanting to press the matter further.

----------------------

Three months had passed us by since Riku and I had that really bad encounter with Axel and co. I could confidently say that now, the two of us were very good friends. Sharing that scary experience before, I guess it brought us closer and made Riku realize he didn't have to appear to be such a hardass around me- and I didn't have to tiptoe on eggshells around him either.

As the year passed, the work demand became increasingly heavier. The two of us preferred to stay in the dorm room to work on homework or study. Sometimes we would even eat dinner together if work allowed itself to take over. Tidus was a bit perturbed by this, so I occasionally went down to dinner with him on nights when I didn't have so much homework. But on special days, Riku would leave French class ten minutes early, sneak down to the kitchen and get dinner for us. It was nice, but I couldn't help but feel guilty for making him miss so much class.

Ah, well. I'm sure he didn't mind after all.

He made me realize our friendship was kind of special. His friends that would drop by a lot didn't really interact on the same levels we did. They usually just made plans for the weekends, talked smack about fellow students, and sports. When his "posse" (or so Tidus called it,) walked around the halls, they appeared to be tight knit- the high society of Saint Helena's who wouldn't let any come between them. Well, that may partially be true, for I didn't believe many of his friends really liked me. At least, that's what I concurred since they never talked or acknowledged me.

Neither did Riku with them around, which in turn perturbed ME.

Tonight, however, nobody bothered us. It was my favorite type of night.

Lately, I had been doing.. well not even lately. Let me start over. For the entire year, I had been doing terribly in French. The whole "sea food plate," and "bon jovi" tricks hadn't really worked towards my advantage- rather pissed Madame Beasley off whenever I accidentally slipped up and said, "Bon Jovi, Madame!"

Riku, seemed to be the opposite. He was really good in French, and noticed my lackluster ability in the area. A few days after the whole Axel incident, he had agreed to help me improve my grades and be somewhat of a.. tutor. It was so funny, to sit there, listening to this big shot spout off random French sentences perfectly, frustrating myself when I found out their silly meanings. If he didn't stop, I was going to give him an embarrassing nickname. Only when I threatened him with this did he really stop.

Well, anyway. We had just finished practicing French- stupid restaurant vocabulary of all things, when Riku moved towards the single lamp in the room, shutting it off in an instant.

"What? Riku! Turn that back on! It's only nine!"

"No... I won't. I want to talk to you." I could feel him smirking, rather than seeing it this time. He was good.

"Well why do the lights have to be off!" Annoyance tinged my voice. Fine, I would just turn the light on myself!

Moving to do this, Riku grabbed both of my wrists, turning me towards his bed and lightly shoving me onto it. "Don't even think about it. Besides. I told you I would kick the boogie man's ass if he bothered us."

"Hmph." Defeated, I eased into the warm blankets. His bed seemed so much softer than mine!

"I feel bad. For not really.. explaining everything about Axel. So I'm going to tell you as much as I can."

"You never said why the lights had to be out." Remember, I was scared of the dark.

"Because I don't want to look at you when I tell you."

Well, gee. "I think you just like being evil!"

"That's exactly right!" Laughing _evilly, _Riku continued. "I'll start from the beginning." Riku climbed next to me, laying on his stomach as I lay sideways looking at him. For such stupid reasoning, I could see his face pretty well- enough to make out his graceful features within the darkness. I was sure he could see me too. I was happy though, for Riku didn't seem to be emo-tripping this time. In fact, he was almost... _happy?_

"Okay. Axel and I grew up together. We were friends, I guess, as kids. But once we got to about age.. oh nine or so, things changed. We became rivals. Not in the way of friendly rivals either. Suddenly, we were the only two kids who had grown tall, gotten bigger, became athletic and.. well popular I guess. That could turn nine year olds against each other, I mean, we were stupid little arrogant bastards."

"Heh.."

"Shutup, Sora! Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Sure I do," anticipation lingering in my voice.

"Well. Both of us have been going to Saint Helena's since we were freshmen. To make a long story short, I did some pretty stupid shit. Axel caught me while I was doing it, and has been using it to blackmail me ever since. I give him drugs, that yes, I steal, and he repays me with a little pocket change... _and_ the promise that he'll never tell anyone."

That was the big deal? Riku was being blackmailed? "What was your secret?" I inched closer to his face, trying to peer into those aqua eyes, and search somewhere in their depths for a hidden truth. A clock ticking in a time transfixed, I wanted to know desperately who this boy really was- what made him so sad, yet so entrancing at the same time?

He turned, noticing my creeping figure. "I said I didn't want to look at you."

"Why?" I asked, a little hurt. I didn't like that excuse. What was wrong with looking at me?

"It doesn't matter! You'll find out anyway because I broke things off with Axel. That was the only way I could get you out of there." We sat in a silence for a moment. Riku sighed, continuing on. "So yeah, be thankful, because I've screwed myself royally for your well being."

"Riku... I didn't.. I didn't know," I quietly breathed, wanting to touch his shoulder again like the night of that incident, to reassure him that whatever he was hiding couldn't be so terrible.

_He must really care about me then. To risk his reputation for me? But we hadn't been that close back then!_

"I don't know why I did it really.. I was just, in the moment. I didn't really think about the consequences until I actually dragged you back here," pausing to flick a few hairs from his face, he added, "not to sound like I regretted it or anything. Because, that's what started this whole thing. Being in the moment- and not regretting it."

-----------------

Just what was he hiding? That question plagued all five senses the next morning

as I raced into religion class- late. His problems were my problems now, whether I liked it or not. Not knowing what the problem WAS- well, that only complicated the matter even further.

"You're late," Sister Agatha bluntly stated through thick words and slit eyes. As if I hadn't known that...

"I'm sorry," I said, squeezing myself into a pew next to Tidus.

"It's okay, just take out your Bible and let's begin. This time- all together, class." I didn't know why, but Sister Agatha really did seem to like me and usually allowed for me to get away with most anything. If this had been French, well, needless to say I would be quite red from embarrassment and deaf from the constant yelling of Madame Beasley.

I peaked over at the page number Tidus was on, noticing that we would be working from the Old Testament today, and flipped towards the number within my own book. Oh man.

**Leviticus, chapter 18, verse 22, instructs, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with women..."**

The touchy subject of homosexuality. I remembered back home, hearing a little bit about gays and how it was "bad." There had been a girl on the island who was apparently a lesbian, only to have her parents throw her out and disown her. At the time, it had been a very heated subject between many religious islanders, and the more progressive ones.

I wasn't gay, but I did feel uncomfortable talking about this subject. Especially when I knew I would only be hearing the negative take on homosexuals. Personally, I didn't condemn what homosexuals did.

"Now, I'm sure all of you already know that it's a sin to engage in such activity. God created the Earth- he created Adam and Eve- man and woman are made for one another. I'm not sure what brings on the lust for a member of the same sex, yet that's all it is. Children, homosexuality is lust. In Catholicism, we practice love, love between a man and a woman."

I sat in my seat, not flinching a muscle. Tidus appeared to be a little uncomfortable as well. Hell, we were in an all BOYS school. Boys slept in rooms with one another, and I was sure that there had to be some sort of "romping around in the sheets" behind it all. Nobody appeared to be particularly religious.

Yet as I sat there, I couldn't help but immediately fidget within my seat constantly throughout the rest of Religion. I had completely given up on the hope that my body was an unmoving pole, and with that, it seemed rupture into constant motion.

----------

Bleh, what a day! I was particularly eager to get back to my dorm room, almost too eager, for I kept screwing up and jabbing the key in the lock all too quickly. After a moment's more of toying with the contraption, the lock clicked, and I walked into the room, flopping on the bed, and kicking my shoes off in a rapid midst of relief.

"Secret out yet?"

"Haven't heard a word."

Within time, I had a feeling Riku would be telling me this "secret." Until that time, I had vowed to myself to comfort him, and try to protect this unknown secrecy from reaching anyone in case I had heard anything weird or rumor-like. I wasn't about to loose him as a friend. Plus, I guess I was just a softy. I didn't want to see him upset like that again.

I was broken from all thought as I felt another body pouncing on top of mine, pinning my wrists at both sides of my head.

"What are you doing?" I asked, struggling under his weight. Riku was a lot bigger than me after all.

"Let's sneak out tonight."

"Ohhhhhhh no," I replied, knowing all too well where this suggestion could possibly be heading. "Not after last time- didn't you learn your lesson from that!"

"No! We're not going to sneak out to see Axel!" He laughed. I could only twist uncomfortably, my wrists now turning white from the pressure he exterted through strong hands. "Come on, let's go. It'll be a surprise."

"No."

"No? Then I just won't move.."

"Tell me, Riku!"

"Fine!" He huffed in aggravation, but still not moving off of me. "Not really anywhere in particular, I just want to drive around. Maybe go home tonight. Come onnnn- it's Friday! They let me spend weekends away if I want." A pause.

"So you wanna?"

"A sleep over, Riku? Aren't we a little old?" I cocked an eyebrow and tilted my head slightly at this. Mr. Hot Stuff Riku was still into slipovers? Truth be told, I found it funny AND weird.

"Don't think of it as a sleep over.. just spending time with a friend.. at their house...," he trailed off in a _very _convincing voice. It _would _be nice to get out of this place, to leave school grounds in such a long time...

"Fine, fine! If you'll get off of me!" I gasped, still struggling under his weight.

Riku and I left, the time being somewhere around ten o'clock. We didn't receive any odd looks from the school staff upon leaving. As long as I was with this silver haired friend of mine, I believed I could have gotten away with anything possible- minus being looked up in a confessional with a bag of cocaine.

Escorting me to his car, both of us hopped in- he in the driver's seat, I in the passenger's.

"This is a really nice car," I perked up, all the while letting my body slide into the soft cushioning of the seat. Fingers trailed the edges of the vehicle's interior as my eyelids began to droop slightly, lashes covering blue.

"Thanks. It was a birthday present." Riku's foot immediately collided with the gas pedal, causing the care to speed up fast. Actually, we were going _very_ fast now. Like, dangerously fast. "Hey! Don't fall asleep already!" He snapped, noticing my sleepy position, and causing the lashes to return to their peak position.

"I wasn't!" I protest, fully awake once again and crossed my arms over my chest in a defensive manner.

"Yeah right!"

It was about thirty minutes before we finally arrived at Riku's house. The rest of the car ride had persisted with myself staring out of the window, scenes of orange and yellow lights flashing quickly as Riku drove at incredible speed. It was nice to just, think. Peaceful. Riku was this way I noticed, he liked to think a lot. Sometimes I would even catch him standing out on the balcony of our dorm room, perched on black icon supports and gazing at the world beyond him with hungry eyes. It amazed me, how he appeared so serene when I knew something was deeply hurting this person. I would stand there, fingers curled around the door, cerulean eyes and chocolate bangs peaking from behind my hiding spot and watch him. Truthfully, his ability to deflect himself from the rest of the living world mesmerized me. It also disappointed me, for I knew not even I could break him from his trance.

---------

Riku's house was beautiful, but that was no shocker. He was, after all, apparently

very wealthy. It was only _natural_ to have a big, humongous house.

Was it a twinge of jealousy I felt then? Perhaps. But I wasn't generally an envious person, and didn't act upon the feeling any further. I only allowed myself to follow Riku as he dashed inside, throwing his keys on a marble countertop, and sauntering over to another room. I continued to follow him as he walked over towards the phone, to be greeted with a big red FLASH. Apparently he was both popular at school and home.

There was only one message left. Even if I hadn't seen the obvious red "1" on the machine, it stated the fact verbally as soon as Riku had pressed the answering machine button.

"_Hello, Riku, you have one new message!"_

Well hot damn. Even Riku's phone was fancier than anything I'd ever seen.

We waited a moment before anything else was spoken. It seemed that the message had in fact started, only the person was being a little hesitant to say whatever it was they wanted to say.

"_Hey, Riku! If you can't tell, this is Kairi! Umm... I was wondering if you'd like to hang out this weekend. My parents aren't home and my friends and I were thinking of having a party... it wouldn't be a party without you! It just wouldn't! So gimmie a call, although I know you'll make it! See ya soon, love!"_

The message ended, a silent room engulfing us once again.

"That your girlfriend?" I asked inquisitively. Did Riku have a girlfriend? Well.. psh. I'm sure he had- he seemingly had everything else. Not to mention, he was really handsome, no doubt any girl would drool over his utter presence.

Wait... since when did I find him handsome? Well. He was, despite the silly protests my brain was sending me. And that was that.

"Nope."

"Then who was she?"

Riku snapped his head back towards my direction, eyes intense with glimmer and intent. "Jealous, are we?"

I managed to stutter out a, "no no no! I was only curious!"

_Was Riku hitting on me? Huh..._

"Kairi's a girl I met at a party awhile back. I guess we're friends. She has a big crush on me," he stated, while rolling those aqua eyes about their sockets. "...And has been calling every weekend, trying to invite me to MORE parties.. but parties really aren't my thing." I didn't say anything, so he added, "Neither is she. She's not as pretty as you," he issued, poking a finger into my chest, and sliding it up towards my nose.

"Mmm.." Wait! I brushed his hand away, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Although, I don't _blame _her for liking me... I'm extremely sexxxxxy!" Riku pounced on me as he said this, completely ignoring my question and wrestling my smaller frame to the floor, pinning me down again. Arms and legs entangled amongst plush, white carpet, I could only hope he wasn't planning on attacking me like this all the time.

Unfortunately, I couldn't ponder on this thought for much longer as I felt Riku's quick fingertips ticking my entire body, searching for one spot that would cause me to erupt in wailing laughter. It didn't take too long either, for I was really ticklish, tears of laughter flowing down my face, and lighting fast legs kicking at his torso signified this. I managed to wiggle a little underneath his tight grasp, causing him to loose his balance and topple over next to me. "You're pretty, Sora. Like a girl. Don't take that the wrong way. You just are. You're small like one too."

"Hmph." I couldn't argue. This was a little true.. Naturally, my shoulders were small, I was only about 5'4", and didn't have the same sort of mature features someone like Riku did.

"Sora, you're too easy."

"You're too mean!"

We both fell into another round of hysterics, letting our bodies shake with absolute mirth. I rolled over, staring at Riku who's laughter still lingered. Something within me subconsciously forced my arm outwards as I grabbed him, pulling him into a sort of.. floor hug? It was a little awkward considering our position, but he didn't seem to mind as I felt his arms wrap around my waist in exchange.

"Still think I'm mean?" He gasped, fits of laughter still hiding within his words.

"Yes!"

We broke apart, laying on the floor and staring towards one another. Riku moved to get up, I mimicking his actions. "Wanna go up to my room and play a video game or something?"

"Sure."

And there we sat, in Riku's beautiful room, next to his own beautiful, personal bathroom, and playing video games on his own- yes, beautiful Playstation. Somehow, the twinge of jealousy didn't even make an appearance, not even for a split second. Thumbs furiously tapping the controller buttons, the two of us sat battling in "versus mode" of a game called Dead or Alive. Riku played as Christie, a silver haired girl, while I chose Hayate, a pretty tough looking guy.

"Why'd you choose a girl?" I curiously asked, thumbs still tapping away. Truthfully, I had no strategy. I just pressed a bunch of buttons, whereas Riku seemed to have memorized every combination of xs and os, landing devastating attacks on my character multiple times.

"I don't usually, but, she looks like me." He shifted a bit, landing another critical hit on poor Hayate. "She's _almost_ as hot as me." That statement earned a set of rolling eyes in his direction.

Several hours later, Riku had beaten me in just about every single match. Well, I had won a few, but I was suspecting he had let me win just because he started to feel sorry for me. Thumbs sore from the redundant task of pressing all those controller buttons, we agreed to stop and do something else.

"Sooo, what would you like to do?"

"I dunno..."

"What do you normally do with your friends?"

"Eh." Now Riku would find out the lovely detail that I, in fact, had none besides him and Tidus- both of whom I just met this year. "I've never done this before..."

"You've never slept over with a friend?"

"I really.. don't have many." I could feel my eyes slightly dropping at that. Admitting to him that I really wasn't the socialite like he was felt horrible, embarrassing, absolutely frightening. Even though the two of us were pretty close at this point in our friendship, there were still moments when I felt so much smaller and afraid of this boy.

I expected his face to drop, for him to mutter something snappy, or even to just stare in disbelief. However, he didn't do any of these things. Instead, Riku pulled my hips a little closer to him, saying gently, "You have me now." An intense gaze lay apparent in his eyes, seriousness there as an annoying _"Quit now or continue?" _announcer from the video game echoed in the background.

I couldn't move, only stare into those strange, turquoise eyes. "I know." I felt a slight blush creep upon the apples of my cheeks, immediately finding interest in the bed spread and twisting my fingers into it instead.

"Do I have you?"

"Yes." I broke from his grasp. He was starting to intimidate me _a lot_, though not in the way he did before. He was different- ever changing, ever surprising me with what he might say or do next. Luckily, my stomach seized the moment to inform us both that it was feeling rather hungry, and large growls echoed throughout his room. That earned a blush from me, a snicker from Riku.

"Hungry?"

"Mhmmmm." I cutely nodded my head, hopping that he would pleasepleasplease feed me.

"Okay then. Follow me." Riku slid off the bed, myself stumbling behind, and raced down the set of stairs.

------------------

It was 3 A.M. and both of us were starting to feel the effects of exhaustion on our bodies. We lay sprawled out on the bed, Riku sitting with his hands clasped behind his head in a makeshift pillow position, I laying next to him, and a noisy T.V. left to dwindle on in the background. Bunches of Chinese takeout boxes lay strewn across the floor, remnants of our dinner still lingering in the air. He had asked me what my favorite food was, and, upon replying with "Chinese!" he simply ordered it. I made a mental note to repay him later for that..

We had been talking for awhile- of school, of people, of many things. The conversation had been going pretty smoothly- casual, even, until I had to allow myself to bring up his "secret" once again.

"Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk?"

"Aren't we talking now?" He replied, a little annoyed.

"It's just-" I paused to think. I didn't want anything to come across as sounding utterly stupid. "I want to help you, really I do! But I can't if you won't tell me what it I'm supposed to be defending you against!"

"I don't want you to defend me," evident annoyance covered his face this time. "What Axel's going to say, it's the truth. I can't defend what really happened," His arms moving quickly from pillow position to propping up his entire upper torso on the bed.

I reached out, my mouth slightly open and ready to protest. Yet, seeing him a bit angry, I suddenly stopped, not wanting to press the matter any longer. Instead, I reached out a timid hand, placing it on his own and stared at him through sympathetic blue eyes. I was practicing my ultimate "cute" pouty face, which.. had seemed to become rather rusty lately.

However, Riku certainly couldn't resist. Heh.

"Fiiiiine. I'll tell you," he stated, shape shifting once again and leaving the bed. This caused a sudden shift of mass, causing me to slightly bounce after his departure. He walked to his window, hands entangled in silver hair. Riku's expression and appearance had switched from calm to incredibly frustrated in a matter of seconds.

At least I could sleep safely knowing I still had the cute, pouty look within my powers!

I stared at him questioningly, somewhat scared and embarrassed that I had brought this up. When he opened his mouth to speak, I suddenly found myself hushing him quietly with a finger to his mouth. "It's okay, I.. I shouldn't have asked. You can tell me when you're ready."

Riku sighed, probably in relief. "Thankyou. That... that means a lot to me, Sora."

I smiled, being sure to extended and showcase all thirty two of my healthy, shiny teeth! I didn't, and wouldn't walk on eggshells with Riku- I couldn't afford to loose my best friend.

Best friend?

Yes, he was my best friend. Even if I weren't his, he was mine and I didn't intend on loosing such a friendship.

"Sora, you dork," Riku said in his usual, friendly yet dominant tone, while rustling my spiky locks. "Let's go to sleep."

I nodded, skipping towards his bed and laying completely on the right hand side. When I didn't feel the added weight of Riku's body next to mine, I sat up, question marks filling my eyes as I saw him pulling blankets from underneath his bed and creating a little, miniature shelter for himself.

"Riku?"

"Mhm?"

"Why aren't you sleeping on the bed?"

His annoyed gaze met my curious one, a frown tempting the corners of his mouth to pull downward with irritation. "Because, you're sleeping on the bed."

"What's wrong with me? I thought I was your friend!" Fingers clasped onto bed sheets firmly now, allowing myself to lean further downwards and hover above his head.

"Nothing's wrong with _you!_" He paused briefly to wisp a few silver bangs from his eyes, "I'm being polite!"

"You're going to be in a lot of pain in the morning! Just sleep with me!"

"Sleep with you?" I clasped my hand to my mouth, with sudden realization as to what I had just said! I had only meant for him to sleep in the bed WITH me, not literally with me! Good going.

_But yes, that night had been riddled entirely with awkward moments. Every so often I would feel his hand brush against my own skin, see those aqua eyes filled with a strange look of adoration, hear his whispering voice against my ear. Father, I couldn't help it. He was so nice! A real friend, the first one ever! I felt normal for the first time in my life..._

I could only flush furiously at myself, and Riku, gather my arms in crisscrossed movement across my chest, and pout towards him. "You know what I mean! I just don't want you to sleep on the floor! I'd feel guilty!"

Riku's face won the battle against irritation, settling for mere indifference, and flopped next to me on the bed.

"Okay, I'll sleep with you," he replied with an evil grin. "As long as you stop using that pouty face against me."

"Riku!"

---------------------------

I slept fine. Until 4 A.M. that is.

There I lay, innocently stretched amongst a cozy bed. True, I had managed to steal almost ninety percent of the covers throughout the duration of the night, but Riku hadn't knocked me awake in order to steal them back! There, justification!

Until 4 A.M. that is.

Riku was tapping my shoulder, lightly at first, then a bit harder, and harder.. until I finally admitted to myself it was "not" a part of my dream sequence. I was already facing him through narrowly slit eyes. Widening the slits, I allowed for my blurry vision to focus until I could tell Riku was staring at me once again. A half crooked smile, slightly furrowed brows, and I knew he was worrying again.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No." We both sat up in unison, still facing one another directly.

"I've got to tell you Sora. It's..," taking my hand in his, "it's absolutely killing me."

I nodded, squeezing his hand in reassurance to continue. "You can tell me anything... I promise... it'll be okay." I felt a beam of happiness as I earned his smile once again.

"Promise you won't leave, scream, or get mad?"

"Of course!"

He sighed heavily before continuing. Here we sat, I incredibly oblivious to this boy's inner depths, and he about to spill forth those inner depths. The inevitable, bound to occur, yet I felt a little scared. "Two years ago, when I was a sophomore, I met a boy like you..."

"_Riku! I missed you so much! Where were you?"_

"_I was only gone for ten minutes!"_

"_It seemed like forever..."_

"_Sorry, Norito." The taller one stated, grabbing the other by the hand and walking him towards his bed._

"Axel was my roommate at the time, but he wasn't with me one night. He had gone away to a friend's dorm to stay the night, saying something about memorizing answers for an upcoming test." I continued to listen intently, giving random hand squeezes. Every so often, I would catch his eyes glaze with sorrow. I knew that look. I felt it myself many times.

_"Norito, I love you... do you love me too?"_

"_I do...," A small, raven haired boy gasped, holding on tightly to the other- his boyfriend, and kissing him gently on the cheek._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I, I think so." Fingers tightened, twisted into the other's shirt, eyes gazing lovingly into his. When aqua met violet, clouds collided, erupting thunder and spreading chaos about. But it was beautiful._

"The boy who reminds me of you, well, he came over that night that Axel left."

_The adolescent named Riku covered the other with kisses, leaving one in each place an article of clothing was removed. He allowed his fingers to grace over the other's ghost like skin, tickling and taunting him with butterfly touches. It wasn't much longer before the entire uniform had been stripped of both boys, and lay discarded on the floor beneath them. _

_Pushing the smaller boy named Norito gently on his back, Riku continued their affair. Starting softly at the other's nape, he worked his kisses downwards, trailing each one in artistic motion until reaching his slender hips._

A few tears splashed beautifully in Riku's eyes. It reminded me of hurricanes, a swirling bit of white within a sea of blue and green. Upon instinct, I reached out to brush each of them away with the tips of my fingers. In response, he grabbed hold of my other hand, pulling us closer to one another in one swift move.

"His name was Norito- a freshman, so he's your age now. I met him one night at a school party. Axel was being mean to him, so I stopped him- much like I did with you. Well, even though a lot of people thought it was weird, we became really good friends."

_"Tell me to stop and I will."_

"_I want this!"_

Riku clasped onto my hands harder at this point. It wasn't a loving gesture, which confused me a little, yet I continued to sit there. "Please don't leave once I tell you this, Sora."

"I won't!"

I was utterly terrified. And yet, I knew what he was going to say next.. I knew what had happened. I wanted to run- away from Riku, away from the truth. But I was stuck, both literally and figuratively.

"He loved me."

The blood drained from my face, causing it to equal the pale glow of Riku's own face in the moonlight. Riku was... he was gay? The fact kicked me, frightened me, and somehow didn't even shock me all the same.

"You're... you're?"

"Yes." I felt my fingers now slick with sweat, heart pounding rapidly.

_Before anything further could occur, a red headed teenager burst through the door. The only warning had been a few muffled laughs only seconds before his appearance. A few seconds had not been time enough._

_Green eyes widening to their maximum limit, he dropped his key with a loud "clang!" to the wooden area of the floor. "WHAT... IS... GOING ON?" He screeched, doubling over with shock and amusement at the same time. Catching two boys, in an all boys Catholic school about to have sex.. well that was the highlight of Axel 's life._

_The two situated on the bed gathered themselves quickly, forcing the sprawled out remnants of clothing on their bodies in sheer embarrassment. "Axel this-" the silver headed one started in panic, watching fretfully as his small boyfriend rushed out of the room with cheeks tinged pink and tears welled in the corners of his eyes._

As much as my mind yelled, "Run!" my heart ushered, "Stay!"

Riku was gay. And trying to hide it within a very close-knit Catholic school wasn't easy. Putting myself in his situation, I felt sorrow for him, tugging and pulling on my heartstrings. I couldn't allow myself to abandon him. His story.. was not yet over. And, I had promised him. A promise I intended to keep.

"Axel wasn't off cheating. He _knew._ He, he," Riku allowed several more tears to trickle down his porcelain skin and stain the corners of his mouth. "He _planned _on coming in on us that night!" When I saw his eyes squeeze shut, only pushing more tears forward in momentum, I could only break from his tight grasp to take his shaking frame into my arms. Feeling small bumps among his flesh, I trailed my fingers across them in reassuring patterns. I would do _anything _to calm him.

I waited a little longer for him to continue, switching from rubbing his arms to brushing strands of moonlit hair out of his face every now and then.

"Riku, I don't care if you're... gay. I'll still be your friend."

"It's NOT that!" Riku suddenly exploded, tears no longer effervescing themselves from their ducts, only lay stained and stamped on various places of his cheeks. "It's not that...," he once again echoed, petal soft this time, as if apologizing for his earlier outburst.

"Tell me," I cooed.

"He loved me." I nodded in understanding. I knew that much. "But I didn't love him back."

"Huh?" I felt suddenly puzzled, not quite understanding where this would be heading from here.

"I was in _lust _with him. And I did the worst thing possible! I tried.. I tried sleeping with him, Axel caught us... and he's been using it against me ever since!" Riku was no longer crying, and hadn't been for a total of ten minutes. Perhaps he was completely dried out- not used to such emotive expressions like this. His demeanor no longer wreaked of sorrow, thankfully. But with ying comes yang, love comes hate, and what of pleasure without pain? He now seemed angry, frustrated, and it only frightened me because I was the only living thing close enough for him to beat to a bloody pulp in frustration under such circumstances.

Deciding to shower him with kindness rather than hesitancy, I took his hand again, brushing my fingertips over his neatly kept nails.

"Axel's.. going to tell my parents."

"Why would they believe him? He has no evidence." Riku's hands were so beautiful...

"Norito left school the week after. He's shelled himself in, won't talk to anyone. That was two years ago! I've.. I've tried calling him, visiting him. He's moved out now.. I'm not sure where he lives. Everyone knew we were close. It wouldn't be too hard to believe."

"I want to help you, Riku!" I felt scared for this boy. Odd. How our roles switched suddenly after I knew the truth. I became the panicked one, wearing my emotions and fright on my sleeve, Riku now coaxing me into reassurance.

"It'll be okay... I have you, right?"

I nodded, knowing history had a horrible habit of repeating itself. And irony, was once again being a big meanie head. I didn't want to admit it, experience this, but I knew those events were going to curl themselves around in a circle and hit the both of us on repeat.

I shuttered against Riku's strong arms. He sat, upright with legs spread apart, me in between. The tips of my spikes were now being forced to obey the law of gravitation as I held my head underneath Riku's chin and brought my arms upwards to cling onto the ribbed collar of his tee-shirt.

A single tear slipped from my own eyes, snaking it's way towards my chin, and falling downwards. Feeling the wet splash against his skin, Riku tilted my head upwards, taking my left hand in his free one, kissing it ever so softly.

And I knew, he was gay. And I was not.

---------------------------

**Author's Note: **Riku's a nauuuughtyyyyy angst! driven man! And I mentally kicked myself for making Roxas evil. If I had planned better, I would have made HIM be Riku's old time lover. Then Axel would have had a better motive xX So dumb. But I suck at outlining. In fact, my outline had been thrown off by a chapter because I went ahead and made Riku tell Sora in this one. He wasn't supposed to until.. checks next chapter.. and Riku wasn't even supposed to make a move until chapter 5!

Riku: Hehe, I pwn your soul. I could not resist Sora!

Yes, yes you do, Riku.

Review review! If I get lots of reviews, I'll shower you with goodness in the next chapter. No reviews, and well, you're all screwed. For I will be very very evil next chapter and switch what's supposed to happen again. Hehe.

No. But seriously.


	4. Chapter 4 Saving Your Sanity

**Author's Note:** Yayy we broke the 5 review per chapter curse! Hands out mini Sora plushies and grape juice. You guys are so kind! Really, these reviews were some of the NICEST. I have a luvly beta now, much thanks to her! Love to **TrinityLimit!**

**Rampaging Sorrow:** The manga I was referring to was Yami no Matsuei. There's an arc in there where the main characters have to investigate a murder at a Catholic school. Originally, I was going to have Riku's little boyfriend commit suicide but ah. Well. Good try though! I'll have to check that one out! Thank you for such a sweet review!

So read! Review! Be merry! It only goes downhill from here. I was in a pissy mood when I started this, and Riku and Sora will suuuuffer. Fluff will happen though. XP

On the last note. I'm going to try to go back to church to get some ideas for this thing.

**This chapter: Riku gets mauled by a soccer ball, detective Sora, and Axel's being a tease.**

----------------------

**Diabolical Rapture Chapter 4: Saving Your Stability**

There was something about Riku. The way he walked, the way his eyes oozed with charm, even the way he'd constantly flick back strands of hair in annoyance. There was a certain air about him that made him... Riku.

His mannerisms, surprisingly enough, never diminished or grew sullen with time. In fact, little by little, the spark in his eyes grew bigger, the stride of his steps more confident. This shocked me, for if I were in his position, the spark would be dying a slow and painful death.

Riku's so strong.

He was doing it now- walking around his room with that uppity flair, acting like nothing between us had changed. He then started to brush the sides of his pants in annoyance when they wrinkled in response to his crouching position as he inspected the floor underneath his desk. That was another strange habit he had. A wrinkle killer.

I didn't envy him; I admired him. How was that mentally or physically possible? I wondered this as I peaked through the covers, watching him carry about, sitting with legs crossed at the ankles on his bed.

A pause. And he was looking at me again in that way. It was when the sparkle of his eyes increased to their maximum, making me feel incredibly self-conscious and nervous. Especially now knowing that he was gay... and all.

Bleh, all my body could do was fall backwards onto the bed gracefully and I shut my eyes- eyes which no longer held a flicker of pure innocence. But that didn't stop him. No, he just walked over and tapped on my eyelids in slight annoyance.

"Won't you open your eyes? Pleeeease?"

"Nhnmhnnn...," I murmured back in response, curling myself into the sheets again.

Shortly after Riku had confessed to me last night, the two of us had fallen asleep, me entangled within his arms, a sniffling heap. A kiss still lingered on my left hand, petal soft to the touch. But, I couldn't mind, or at least, that's what I told myself as I traced circles over my knuckle bones. After all, it had calmed me down somewhat. Our situation was awkward.. but I tried to brush the thought aside, knowing I couldn't abandon him. I had to stick with him, continue to befriend him- for the sake of his mental sanity. I was in the position to restore and protect whatever was left of it.

Riku had stopped mulling over his room, as I had noticed the Chinese cartons were currently gone. Now sensing that he had the ability to easily influence me, Riku smiled evilly. Yes, evilly- as always. Those eyes of his were searching out what I truly wanted and needed to comply with his wishes. A smile curled at the corners of his mouth; he knew what I desired. It only took a matter of seconds before the nail was successfully hit on the head.

"I made you breakfast."

-------------------------

After too many pancakes to count and then some, Riku drove us back to school. Almost as soon as the two of us stepped into the building, Riku was mauled by a small group of boys that looked on par with his age.

"Hey!" Riku was trying to untangle himself from the other boys, still brushing the wrinkles from his shirt. "What's-"

"It's that time of the year again," one replied, slapping him playfully on the back. Riku's eyes immediately shifted from annoyed to intrigued. Apologetically waving to me as I continued to stare at him questioningly, he headed off with them, leaving myself alone to ascend to 705. It didn't bother me terribly, but I felt a little irked at being forsaken after last night. I didn't want to be the person who he could bitch to or cry on whenever he felt broken, and leave me the second he felt better. I didn't want to play that role.

"Oh well," I sighed into the empty hallway, clambering up the first flight of stairs.

It was later that night that Riku informed me of what "had started."

Soccer season.

Normally, I wouldn't care, but this time, a sports activity had an impact on my life. Riku had joined the team- well, that was putting it lightly. More like, he waltzed onto the team. Apparently, from what I'd heard around the school, Riku was an incredibly athletic guy and the best on the team. Well, that wasn't surprising. He deemed himself best at almost everything else possible- French, chugging soda, tackling me at unsuspecting times...

Practices were Monday through Thursday, 7:00 P.M.-11:00 P.M. By the time he came back to our room each night, chances were I was asleep. As much as my heart urged me to try to stay awake a little longer to see him, my body always won in a fit of slumber.

This pattern went on for the entire first week. Until Friday that is.

Tidus and I had left the dining hall rather late. As soon as the both of us had issued goodnights to one another, I spun around only to be welcomed into Riku's gentle grasp.

"Riku! STOP DOING STUFF LIKE THAT!"

He laughed at my outburst, not taking me very seriously I supposed. I was apparently destined to be teased from his ritual sneak attacks for quite a while. "You're so easily flustered," he gasped between laughs, removing one hand from my waist and using it to ruffle the spiky locks of my hair instead.

"You're so mean..." I could only whine under his grip. Not only was Riku mentally stronger than I, he easily won in the physical department as well.

At my childish insult, Riku only continued to chuckle. After a moment, he released me- the intent gaze returning to his eyes and replacing the lackluster silly one. "I haven't seen you all week, so I figured I'd surprise you. Plus, I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask me something?"

"Mhm," he ushered, reaching out to poke my nose.

"Hey!"

"Wanna come to my soccer game tomorrow morning?" He coolly asked, one hand leaning over my head and pressing against the wall behind me.

"Uhh.. you're already having games?" I glanced up, shrinking at my miniature stature.

"Short season," he shot back.

I thought a moment, blue eyes deep in discussion under thick black lashes. "Of course I'll go!" I replied. Well, it wasn't exactly a hard decision.

"Good." Riku smirked for a moment, triumphant in alluring me into his every wants. That smirk, and the message it sent me, was absolutely terrifying. I didn't want to be his puppet, yet...

"Race you back to the dorm! Loser makes winner cookies!"

"The hell?" I watched, mouth slightly agape as his figure dissipated into the shadows of the darkened hallway. Well I was just not going to make him cookies.. no way.

This time, I would develop a strategy to defeat him, mind wandering back to my pitiful losses at Dead or Alive. I raced with thought, turning to my immediate left and climbing into a golden painted elevator. Riku was no doubt climbing the stairs- from first to seventh. I was choosing the easier transportation by elevator, only praying to God that the ropes and levies attached to this thing could climb at a faster rate than Riku's legs.

Within a minute, a red flash bellowed from the buttons, a number seven lit in glee. I quickly pushed my body through the prying doors and ran at top speed towards...

700.. 701... 702... 703... 704...

Room 705.

A smile replaced my determined mask, as I prepared myself to mock his defeat. Hands on hips, I watched as Riku rushed towards me, this time illuminating from the shadows instead of blending.

"You lose, Riku."

An irritated look swept across his pale face, while mine continued to glow in vigor. Finally, a real win against Mr. Invincible!

"Chocolate Chip."

-------------------------------

"Hey...," someone was coaxing my shoulder, trying to wake me up. I could only turn over in defense and mummer a few slightly coherent words in annoyance. How dare they! I needed sleep!

I batted my eyes sleepily as I felt my body being lifted from the bed.

"Heyyyyy let go of me," I cooed in half-slumber. I just _didn't_ wake up this early.

In response to my demand, I was then being placed upon the floor in a heaping mass of entangled arms and legs. Eyes still mostly closed, I searched in blind drowsiness for my warm, comforting blanket. My fingertips combed through air, not meeting the fuzzy blanket, but someone else's hands instead.

"Wake up, Sora." A voice close to my face responded, a little perturbed. Eyes shot open, seeing completely for the first time Riku's figure. I winced, the light blinding my eyes a little painfully.

Nodding, I picked my body off from the ground, remembering that I was supposed to attend his soccer game this morning. I stood, still in a sleepy haze, as Riku darted about the room, opening squeaky wardrobe doors and throwing clothes at my head. Next, came the loud clunk of my sneakers as he whirled them across the room- luckily, not at my face this time.

Peeling a shirt and pair of shorts from my spiky locks, (which could work as an excellent clothing hangar!) I pulled each article of clothing on under a watchful Riku. A second later, I uttered, "Let's go!"

"Sora?"

"Hmmmm..?" My eyes pried themselves open once more. I was met with a face turned halfway into a frown, half in lidded amusement.

"Your pants are on backwards."

------------------------------------

After adjusting my pants, Riku had taken me past the dining hall and shoved a package of strawberry poptarts and a coke in my hand as we whipped through the masses of people.

"Normally, I wouldn't want anyone eating _that_ for breakfast, but you're so _dead_ this morning," He casually poked me in the rib, as I munched on one of my poptarts.

I walked on after him, as we exited a door on the side of the room. "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

"I ate _before_ you woke up."

"Oh," I shrugged, finishing the rest of the poptart and breathing in the dismal scent of morning. Trees were lined in light blue highlight, a faint mist of clouds hanging over their peaks. I hated morning. I hated everything about it, I thought, crinkling the shiny silver packaged paper within my hand and shoving it into my pocket. Riku broke into a sprint, the deep red of the Saint Helena's uniform a blur against the light sky.

I followed Riku only as far as I was allowed. I caught up to him, breathing in the moist air in ragged gasps from the short jog. Taking my wrist, he guided me toward the set of bleachers that our school occupied. For Saint Helena's being a school for a bunch of teenaged boys, I was surprised at the large crowd our school created at 9:00 in the morning. I sat down carefully between several boys, making sure not to spill my soda, and waved to the departing Riku. He casually smiled back, turning quickly on his heels and racing out into the field. I continued to watch him as other crimson-clad boys high-fived him in response to his presence, others jokingly punching him in the side.

"Aww... noooo," I muttered, seeing my soda dribble down the side of the plastic red cup. I quickly averted my attention from Riku to the soda, trying to fix this problem as my tongue darted out to lick up the excess from the side. When I looked up, my hard work of keeping all the soda in the cup was completely gone.

No less than two inches from my face sat a rather disgruntled Axel, brown liquid dripping off the tips of his spiky red hair. I squeaked, my brain putting two and two together- my soda now gone, and slithering down Axel's angry face.

"I-I-I did-!" I couldn't formulate a very coherent sentence at this point.

He grabbed a hold of my shirt, twisting the ends and using it to wipe his face off. Thrusting the limp, soggy end of my t-shirt back towards me with a cold, "slap!" against my skin, Axel stiffened in posture.

"Hello there... Sora!" He smiled crookedly.

"Umm.. hi, Axel," I replied back meekly, not wanting to even broach the topic of why I was no longer interested in my soda. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged in response, shaking his red locks a little, coke flying from their tips, giving many boys around us a sprinkled shower, much to their annoyance. "Roxas is on the soccer team. I came to watch him." His pink tongue paused from speech, instead licking the soda from the sides of his mouth in pleasure. "Not to harass you, despite what you may think. I just saw you sitting here.. all by yourself," he continued to make strange, oogling faces at me, "without Riku, and thought I'd give you company!"

He was being... rather mellow. Not at all mean- a little condescending, but there was a definite improvement. Strange. But I didn't mind either, for I much preferred this Axel to the previous one.

"Oh. I see," I issued.

He turned to face me again, glittering green eyes seeking out any source of intimidation within my own. "You're here for Riku then, right?"

I nodded slightly, watching as both Roxas and Riku ran along the open field, grabbing, clawing, and shoving any person in their way as the game began to start. Boys from the opposing team, Saint Peter's, dressed in all black uniforms, ran opposite them.

No other words were passed between us for a short period of time. I engrossed myself with watching the game. It was an incredibly brutal match, players on both sides using massive physical strength to damage opposing forces through broken limbs and bloody noses. Many times had players been replaced, shrieking in pain and blood pouring from open wounds, bleeding through white socks. Riku had been playing the entire time, however, cleverly dodging many attacks from the other team, and remained fully intact. However, that didn't stop him from using his own powerful strength. Twice had he been the guilty party that caused a pair of players from Saint Peter's to fall stumbling, bleeding and stuttering to the ground.

It was a little shocking, a little frightening- to know he was capable of causing such damage to a person. But _never_ had he been anything but gentle with me. Snarky yes, but that was only through personality. And snarky didn't qualify as brutally abusive either.

I could see now that Riku was releasing his anger from his past on these people- channeling his pain into his athletic skill. As his muscles pumped through an invigorating run, his heart unclenched in relief- if only a little.

I smiled, priding myself in knowing this reckless boy- his deepest darkest secret, his habits, his hobbies. From the opposite side of the field, I could see crowds of people with their faces transfixed upon his, probably wondering just who this silver-haired boy was, the cause of his strife.

I continued to admire his ability to weave through the other boys, dodging a player here, there, a kick ever so often of the ball. I didn't find myself very interested in the game, however close and intense it had been. The score was tied at 0-0 still, but I found myself only able to focus on Riku. Well, besides, he was the only player I knew personally on either team besides Roxas. And Roxas, for that matter, I had absolutely zero interest in. Axel though...

However, as soon as Roxas was replaced with a different Saint Helena's player, Axel turned his attention back towards me.

"Riku told you, hmmmm?" He asked, raising one red eyebrow in question.

I nodded again, not wanting to speak in fear of my voice cracking. I wasn't looking at him, but at Riku. A time-out had been called for Roxas' replacement. And Riku was looking back, spotting Axel at my side. His face had turned from a serious, determined one to one oozing in livid anger. Those eyes, icy blue in the morning light, glazed over in anger, fists clenched at the side.

I would be the first to admit, Riku looked horrific like that.

Axel leaned over, much to my, and Riku's appall. As his lips, poised for verbal damage, closed in on my ear, I tried to call out to Riku for help, however my voice seemed lost in a whirlwind of confusion and fright. A whistle sounded, bodies scurrying in motion once again on the field- well, minus Riku. He was still frozen in place.

"You know he gets whatever he wants..." Axel's words felt like death against my ear, little wisps of his breath swirling around my face. I continued to gaze longingly at Riku, silently pleading him to rescue me again- to just quit the game, to race up the bleachers, and kick Axel in the face. Truthfully, he looked a little silly being the only player standing on the right hand side of the field, most of the action occurring on the left now. As he continued to stare at the two of us, several heads from the audience snapped around in unison, trying to see what their star player found so utterly enrapturing. After another moment or two, waves of people started to turn around in their seats. Not too long after, almost the entire set of bleachers had their attention focused on Axel breathing down my throat.

He, however, didn't seem to mind at all.

"Are you just going to let him do -" He continued, a new sense of thrill at the aghast audience he now intrigued.

Riku.. I wanted to tell him to stop _staring_, to just run and avert everyone's attention to him once again. This was so uncomfortable! But he didn't break from his hypnotic glare. Not even as I watched in horror, a black clad boy rushing through the throngs of players, straight towards Riku. And not a second later...

_WHAM! Crack._

I had watched the entire scene unfold as the soccer ball had been forcefully kicked no less than two feet away from Riku's face, only to land in his face a split second later. The violent clash of rubber against bone and skin made an ear-clenching splitting noise, echoing throughout the entire stadium. No whistle was sounded, no time out called. Riku immediately crumpled into a mass of limp appendages, shaking slightly, probably from shock. He continued to lay sprawled across the ground- just like the many other players before him, his hands covering his face- probably, in pain. From where I was sitting, I could see specks of red dotted around him in circles, patches contrasting sharply against his silver hair and pale skin.

My mouth shot open, ready to scream. My legs sprang upwards, initiating themselves to run. But I couldn't. I could only stare in horror as boys continued running, a few swaying past the crumpled heap on the ground, flinging dirt and patches of grass in his face from their cleats. His pale fingers still lay interlocked on his face, even as red liquid spilled between their cracks, and down towards his wrists and neck.

Someone from behind me jabbed at my back, "Hey, kid, sit down. You're in my view!"

I quickly swung around to face him, incredibly peeved that he- or anyone else for that matter, didn't seem to notice a bloody PERSON lying on the ground in evident pain. A thousand insults flew through my head as my eyebrows knit themselves into an angry glare. None came forth. Instead, I simply sat back down.

What could I have done otherwise?

Axel, I noticed, glowed with absolute mirth at the sight. "That... had to hurt!" He said in good humor, slapping his knee nearest me. "His nose is going to be broken for weeks! And his face in general's going to be a bloody pulp! Priceless!"

I screwed my face up at that. Riku was more than a pretty face- he was nice, he was kind, and a friend. "Axel, please stop that!" I begged, widening my eyes in plead and mercy. "He's hurt badly," I choked through an audible sob, a sob desperately fighting to be released from my throat.

Axel sighed, all joy levitating from his face. "You think _that's_ bad? He's suffered worse." Worse? What had Riku not told me exactly? Or perhaps, he was no stranger to rough sports accidents. I brushed the thought aside.

Axel paused to scratch at a coke stain on his collared shirt, a growing smile at the corners of his mouth despite the brown blotch, "Okay, but because you asked so nicely!" I sighed in relief, both at our consensus, and the fact that a referee appeared to be carrying Riku off of the field.

The sight wouldn't have bothered me so much, had a visible lining of red not remained in Riku's outline.

-------------------------

Riku had disappeared for the remainder of the day. He hadn't returned to our dorm in hours, and night was already cradling the sky. I had assumed one of two things- he was either residing in the Nurse's wing, or he had been sent home for the weekend. Deciding to investigate the first option, whether out of boredom or concern, I quickly checked the time. Eleven.

So I would be sneaking out. And truth be told, it was a little thrilling.

But before finding Riku's whereabouts, I wanted to further investigate. I _never_ had a moment where I had an opportunity to poke through his things. There was the time when he was gone due to soccer practice, but I always had homework during those days.

Carefully sauntering towards his closet, I picked up his black messenger back from the floor- still in the exact place it had been this morning.

I snickered at its presence. I liked to tease him about having a "man bag." I undid the side clasp, opening it up and spilling its contents on the floor. Nothing too unusual- just a wallet, a cell phone, some pens, a mirror, and a black eyeliner pencil. Uttering a "what the fuck," under my breath at the sight of the last item, I quickly replaced all the objects back into the black bag- except for the cell phone. It was such a pretty phone, silver- like his hair. Flipping the top open, I was soon greeted with a "Hello, Riku! Welcome back! You have three new messages!" Being quite handy with phones, I easily maneuvered the menu to locate the messages. All from Kairi. I laughed a little at this. _If only she knew._

Unsatisfied with that, I instead began to pry through his dresser drawers. Nothing was out of the ordinary- besides the fact that every single article of clothing was folded AND color coordinated.

Nothing until... the last drawer was empty of clothes. Empty of clothes, but held a single green bound book. A sketchbook, I realized as I picked it up, immediately flipping through it, hoping for pictures, notes..

No sooner had I wished this did I stumble onto a single photo, a little battered and ripped at the corners. In the photo stood Riku, his arms tightly wrapped around another boy, a boy with straight black hair cut cutely to his shoulders and violet eyes. Both of them were smiling, utterly happy to have one another. This must have been him...

I felt a pang of envy as I flipped the photograph on its opposite side. Clearly, in Riku's neat handwriting were the words _"Norito and I at Yuffie's Valentine's Party. Spring."_

I ran my fingers over the words, hoping somehow they'd spring to life and tell me anything- just something I desired to know. Anything about this person who I was desperate to help.

But the book held even more interesting things. I was quick to replace the photo in the exact spot I had found it in, nestled between two sticky pages of the sketchbook. After several more pages, I came across some notes scattered amongst a drawing of a set of hands- hands folded in prayer position.

_"Broke my heart."_

Nearing the end of the book, I didn't find much else until I reached the very last few pages.

_"Fixed my heart."_

Fixed his heart?

But I hadn't noticed the little pictures casually drawn to the side of the words. Pictures of myself- sleeping. The spiky hair, bright blue eyes... it was unmistakably me. Feeling a little uncomfortable, I closed the book back up and deposited it back to its drawer. Pausing, I realized Riku was actually a very talented... sketcher. He had a lot of talent actually, talent that he should be sharing with others to see and appreciate- not hidden away, locked within his wardrobe confinements.

But then... why had Riku drawn me? I guess since I was his only friend. But thoughts of his sexuality kept pestering me in the back of my head, thoughts that screamed for me not to visit him.

Was I perhaps... leading him on? But the thought didn't stay too long, because a new feeling swept over me. I felt guilty. Going through his personal things like that. I had found something he obviously didn't want me seeing. Deciding not to bring the subject up, nor joke with him about Kairi's desperate phone calls, I picked up a key from my bedside table and set off on my mission.

Operation. Find. Riku.

I headed out the door quietly, being sure to close it without the slightest of sounds. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I turned my head at the scurrying noises within the walls.

_Within the walls?_

"Hmmm.." I pressed my ear close to the wall, the faint scratching growing more audible. It was probably my imagination.. or nerves. Shrugging off the strange noises, I continued to sneak through corridors and silently glide down staircases- the elevator would have been far too noisy. Now.. the nurse's room was on the second floor, I soon found out- seeing a large map framed and glossy on one of the hallways I had been searching.

Descending down two more flights of steps, I rushed to the center of a dingy hallway- much like the seventh floor. I headed to my left, trying to picture the map within my head once more for a clear idea of where to go. As I continued walking, I passed by painting after painting, hanging on decaying walls. Each was a sinister-looking portrait of a nun or priest, not a smile in existence.

Dust particles littered the floor. Spots of white moonlight scattered amongst the filth from holes within chunks of walls. Perhaps that was why the wing smelled of rotting wood- perhaps when it rained, the floor became eroded and molded.

Finally spotting a black door with a big red cross on it, I assumed I'd found the Nurses' room. Surely she wouldn't be inside at this hour? Tiptoeing closely towards the door, I pressed my ear to the surface similar to the manner that I had earlier at the scurrying noises, hoping for utter silence.

My prayer had apparently been answered. Not a single voice or echo of noise protruded through the black door.

Carefully pushing against its surface, I walked into the room's confinements in a swift, single motion. Luckily, this room appeared to be somewhat illuminated, and much nicer than the outside hallway. That had been a relief. A room that cared for the sick and hurt, after all, shouldn't be a place where germs and insects could easily crawl about.

Actually, the "room" in which I was in, appeared to be more like a mini wing itself. Red doors all lined the opposite side of my presence. Walking up towards one, I noticed each had a little card attached to the handle, a patient's name written in black, curly lettering.

Several doors down, I found Riku's door. I sighed, holding the card that read his name within my hand for a moment. Running my fingers up and down, I traced his name with a delicate fingernail. Dropping the card and watching it dangle restlessly in the invisible air, I reached out, and pushed the door open quickly.

The room was black.

Shifting around in an abyss of darkness, I stumbled upon a bed frame.. pole.. thing. "Riku?"

No answer.

"Riku, are you in here?"

Nothing.

"It's Sora. I was worried about you! Where are you?" Fear entered my voice this time.

Feeling around for something, anything, my hands hit another object. A lamp! I smiled in triumph, twisting its switch and allowing light to prevail in victory through the dark.

What I saw next, I wasn't prepared for.

Riku was lying, a lump of battered limbs, on top of a black sheet within his bed. I found myself rushing over towards him in urgency, clutching the ebony sheets, knuckles white from terror. Though, he didn't look at all like Riku. I only knew it was him from the messy strands of silver hair lining his face, and the name card from his door. "Riku?" I whispered, reaching out a single shaky hand towards a white wrist. He was so pale- even paler than normal, the contrasting black sheets only adding to his glow. It was all too surreal, too scary.

He immediately turned away from me, covering his head with the black comforter.

"Go away," he muttered, through crushed words and a heap of covers.

A little shocked at his answer, I pulled at the spread. "Riku, what's gotten into you? I came to see you because I was worried about you... I wanted to talk to you."

I could barely hear a tiny sigh escape from his mouth. "I don't want you to see me."

"Oh, Riku..."

I continued tugging at the sheets, little by little pulling it from his weak grasp. "Come on, I don't care what it looks like," I gently pleaded, coaxing the last few inches of the soft linens away from his damaged face.

"You may not, but I do!" He snatched back, but all too late. I had completely ripped the covers from his entire body.

"Oh Riku..." I repeated, only more sullen and heartbroken. His once beautiful face now covered in bruises, stitches, and bandages looked back at my own in total horror. No longer did that special spark exist.

I couldn't stop myself from doing so as I reached out a trembling hand to gently brush his bangs across the opposite side of his cheek, careful not to touch any scar on his bruised skin. A single tear slipped from his eye as I did this, sliding over discolored skin and trickling off the side of a scathed chin.

"I had.. I had no idea it was this bad..."

"Well, the little bastard kicked it when he was standing right in front of my face." I smiled as he said this, being able to detect the slight arrogance and Riku-ness of his answer.

He turned to his side to completely face me now. "I look like shit."

That was blatant.

"Well what'd you expect?" I continued to twirl my fingers through his hair, surprised that he didn't bat them away from annoyance. "You were mauled by a psychopathic soccer player!"

He laughed a little, though not much, his muscles sore and still in severe pain from earlier. "Why do you always laugh at everything I say?" I questioned, cocking my head slightly to the side.

"Because nothing you say is ever serious," he spat back, this time batting my hands away from his silvery locks.

We sat in silence a moment, his gaze fixed on me as I stared listlessly at the wall in front of the bed. I felt weird looking at his face like that, and I'm sure he didn't want to be studied under the circumstances either. Riku was who he was, for the most part to others, for his looks. He didn't have that at the moment.

"You'll get in trouble if they catch you in here, Sora," eyes shifted in their sockets. "I didn't know you would sneak out."

"Well I already told you! I was worried about you! I didn't know if you'd DIED or something!"

"Sora-"

"I mean, or, they could have had to put you in the hospital!"

"You're not-"

"I thought you would have at least had a broken nose!"

"Serious?"

"Huh?" I looked at him questioningly.

_God Riku, you look so pathetic... _

"Really, Sora, it's not that bad." I couldn't tell anymore, whether or not he was angry or glad I had visited him. I searched his eyes, hoping for some sort of clue, anything, to tell me...

_Why do you act like this?_

I blinked, a tear forming within their ducts. "Sora? What's wrong?"

"I... You... you scared me..."

He reached out to brush the lingering tear from my cheek. "What'd Axel say to you?" He asked, completely avoiding my statement.

"He wasn't really mean to me," I replied, somehow sensing that wasn't exactly the best thing to say.

Snorting, "What, he's being nice to you while insulting me?"

Ow, my rib now feeling an imaginary effect of knives against bone.

"No.. he didn't say anything about you really," I lied. "He only asked me if you'd told me."

"And you said?" His hand left my cheek. I noticed there were lingering crimson stains left in small linear lines on his hands. Was blood that particularly hard to wash off?

"I just nodded."

"Yeah... well it's good you didn't lie to him." Riku shifted in an air of thoughtlessness, snuggling deeper into the depths of his pillows. He was so different like this, so vulnerable. But, completely unwilling to accept this vulnerability.

Riku kept morphing into this person, this different person. From the intimidating, scary, popular boy- to this... broken soul. Pink flushing my cheeks, I knew I couldn't let that happen. I knew I had to be the only person truly concerned for his mental stability. His friends could care less... his parents weren't even here. This world was so hollow.

"You should probably go," his voice echoed deep within the covers.

"Nahhh," I bent closer, forcing my oh-so-contagious smile down his throat. You. Will. Give. In. To. My. Powers. Evil. Riku.

A smile?

A slight one. But that was comfort enough.

Before I could let my blue eyes linger on his half smile, I felt Riku's arms glide to my back, capturing me into a tight embrace. "Thanks," he uttered.

"Ummm... well it's the least I could do. For, you know," I said, wrenching from his hold. "Axel."

"Yeah."

I used this seemingly uneventful opportunity to try out my own version of "Sora charm." It's a slightly less effective version of "Riku charm." Okay.. really.. less effective.

"Heeeeeeey, Riku," I cooed, batting eyelashes.

"You rang?" I mentally tallied two points for Team Sora as I noticed a small, but present, smile.

"This doesn't mean you get out of making me cookies."

-------------------------------

Author's Note: Mauled is one of my top 10 favorite words by the way- in case you were wondering. And I'm surprised that this is the first chapter.. it made its appearance in- TWICE! YEAH! And I hate soccer personally. Played it for 7 years, and managed to get kicked in the face plenty of times. Hell, I got kicked in the face when I wasn't even playing. And so I felt.. Riku needs to share my paaaain. But even through my hatred of soccer, you know he'd look mucho sexy in a little soccer uniform

Mmm and reviews are welcome! Perhaps if they're as super nice as usual, I'll make Riku kiss Sora next chapter. :0 You heeeard. Maybe.


	5. Chapter 5 Enjoy the Silence

**Author's Note:** Oh gosh. I am embarrassed at how late this is. But I can say I have an excuse! Just because it took me several weeks to write, and then my beta and I went out of town at different times.. so we ended up missing each other by about a week. But I still apologize for the lateness, because I didn't check my email like I should have to recieve hers. angsts

School starts Monday so I probably will aim for about a chapter a month, unless I get reeeally productive on weekends :)

Speaking of my lovely beta, I owe her cookies just like Riku does to Sora. She rocks teh house for putting up with my late emails. And I also apologize for the late update. XX So as penance for the late update, I made this chapter light and cute. With a very naughty Demyx. XP

And as always reviews are much appreciated! This fic is now officially half way done! And to mark that, I went to the mall with my gay and bought the official square released Sora crown necklace to celebrate :D Well it was more like.. coincidence!

**Diabolical Rapture Chapter 5:** **Enjoy the Silence**

_Riku, you never made me my cookies._

I contemplated this during Religion class the following Monday. It wasn't so much that I wanted the cookies, but I wanted Riku to do as he said he would. I sighed in thought, taking the time to flip a few pages of my missalette. I wasn't very interested, nor focused, on memorizing these communion songs, and continued flipping pages quietly in order to look as if I were doing _something _productive. Occasionally I'd glance up and notice a few other boys doing the same, at times locking eyes with someone for a split second.

But it wasn't that I was distracted by my cookies or Riku, but the fact that today's class seemed a bit odd. Usually we'd practice singing the songs we were expected to learn for communion everyday- and by this time, I was sure not a soul in class _didn't _know the words. And for today's assignment- practicing silently each one from the booklet, well, that seemed entirely like busywork.

Silent singing and memorization? Stupid.

I continued to make myself look productive as I noticed Sister Agatha and a few other nuns huddled in a tightly knit circle amongst the altar. However, whist they stood surrounding the altar, a taller figure stood _at_ the altar. Even though I'd never really bothered to attend church sessions each weekend, I could tell by the specific clerical attire this man was indeed a priest. And, as soon as a few of the nuns cleared my view, I could take glimpse of the man's face. It was Father Leonhart- the same one I had met at the very beginning of the year during Reconciliation.

Layered brown locks hung carelessly about his face, stormy eyes only partially visual through chunks of hair. He looked so young and, er... healthy for a priest. Really, I had only seen other ones who were quite old. Reconciliation had been my second sacrament that I'd received, only following the first, Baptism. It was a rather awkward situation- to reconcile, but apparently necessary to be considered Catholic. I knew the gist of it: mainly a process in which people could be salvaged from their sins after confessing them through a religious official.

But I hadn't really known _what _to tell Father Leonhart. I spat out a few things such as "lying to my parents and using profanity at certain times." However, if I were to reconcile now- would I have new sins I needed to repent?

I shuddered a little. This was all so creepy in a way.

There was also the small detail that a priest was supposed to be called Father. A Father was something I never had, so I was a bit uncomfortable using the term. A Father was supposed to be someone warm, someone caring and comforting. Yet, the painful experiences I had with my own only led me to feel fear and coldness towards the religious official.

The remainder of class passed by rather uneventful. Father Leonhart had left near the end of class without a word, and not a single nun bothered to break anyone from their "silent singing." I shuffled along throughout my other subjects, receiving an F on my algebra test and a rather embarrassing project assignment in biology. Nothing too unusual.

-----------------------

During French, I had managed to fall asleep a total of three times, only to be tapped lightly twice by Tidus, and once quite roughly by Madame. After warning me of a detention (which I guessed would include much gum scrapping and ass kissing), I managed to stay awake for the remainder of the period. That had been a remarkable feat actually, considering Tidus wasn't incredibly talkative or responsive to my note passing.

But eventually time does flow, no matter how slowly it appears to trickle through the veins of existence. And eventually, time marked the ending of class by signal of a very loud, obnoxious bell.

Someone grabbed me as soon as everyone fought our way out of French. I didn't even need to see the face to match the name. I knew it was probably Riku- considering he was really the only person who would use such a gesture to get my attention. Well, besides Axel. But he wasn't anywhere near this particular floor during last period. As his fingers gently wrapped around my forearm, it was indeed Riku who mouthed the word "dinner," before dragging me along towards the dining hall. He was speaking silently through still very bruised lips from the accident. Overall, he didn't look too horrible.. just a few splotches of red patterned at random amongst his face, scratches here and there, and a faint traice of blue outlined an oval like shape around his right eye.

"What's the rush?" I questioned him, trying to keep up with his fast pace.

"I'm hungry, and well, I want to get there before everyone else does."

"Oh," I replied as I noticed my abductor flash a small smile over his shoulder.

Upon entering the dining hall, Riku didn't let go of my arm- instead, rushed over towards a somewhat empty table and sat me down in one of the seats. Finally releasing his grip, he reached up to blow a strand of hair out of his eyes, simultaneously dipping his hand within his uniformed pocket and producing a wad of green bills. After his very busy primping of his hair, he shoved his French book into my outstretched hands.

"Would you like pizza, spaghetti, or turkey... surprise?"

I'm sure I gave Riku a pretty horrified look at the mention of "turkey surprise," because he quickly added, "It's really not too bad..."

Choosing to ignore that, I chose pizza instead- to be safe. "Good choice," he chuckled, before he fingered a few of the bills, replaced several more and left. I sat there for a moment, alone at the table and bored. I began to fidget a little, uncomfortable as I noticed groups of boys starting to pile into the room and sit with one another. I was sure I looked stupid as hell- sitting at an empty table by myself while others socialized about.

Only when I began to chew nervously on one of my fingernails did I notice someone behind me, tapping impatiently at my shoulder blade. I quickly spun around in my seat, coming face to face with another guy- one who was about on par with Riku's size.. which meant.. big. And a hell of a lot bigger than me.

"Uh.. who are you?" He questioned, tugging a little at the ends of his... pinkish hair?

"I'm Sora-"

"Well, Sora. I'm sorry but this table is taken," he interrupted. A small smirk curled at the corner of his lips in an all-too-menacing way, reminding me in that same all-too way of Axel's distinct smile. "There are plenty of other places to sit, you know," he stated as a long arm extended itself in front of my body, his palm now flat on the table. The size difference between us was now extremely evident as he was leaning over completely to face me.

"I'm sorry," I started to combat. Riku could be such a jerk! Always getting me into these kinds of situations with such BIG people! "It's just, my friend told me to sit here.. he should be back in a second, but..."

"Marluxia, what are you saying to him?" A sigh of relief echoed from my mouth as I recognized that voice.

I reminded myself to thoroughly kick Riku later on for this. Images of a cartoon Sora triumphantly beating the make-believe guts out of a very make-believe Riku entered my head.

"You know this kid?" The pink.. or was it brown.. haired guy retorted back to my savior.

"Sure I know him. I brought him here."

Marluxia, for I assumed that was his name then, turned to face me, then back to Riku in a heap of confusion. He apparently didn't need to ask, "why?" for Riku quickly continued to explain.

"He's my roommate." Riku casually walked past a rather dumbfounded Marluxia and paused next to me. "Be nice, he's a good kid," he continued to add- along with a playful ruffle of my hair right before handing me a slice of cheese pizza.

"Alright then. Cool. Sorry about.. before, Sora." Marluxia's muscles released their tense grasp on the table as he waltzed gracefully towards the seat opposite mine. Great. Now I would have to look at him each time I wanted to face forwards. "I'm Marluxia."

_And your stupid hair is pink, you fruitcake._

I only smiled half-heartedly, choosing to munch happily on pizza instead of responding with "Sure, that's wonderful, Marluxia. You were only a total meanie earlier."

I was halfway done with my first slice of pizza when a few other boys joined the table- each with a quizzical expression plastered on their faces as they did. And each time, Riku continued to patiently explain, "This is my friend Sora. He's my roommate, be nice. He's a good kid." And each time, his response became more and more mechanical.

I didn't really talk to many of them, for I continued to feel a little threatened and intrusive on their table. The names I recall- Zexion, Cloud, Demyx, and a few others. Funny, I had never met any of these friends before. At first they seemed kind of cool, but once Demyx began to whap freely at Cloud's head with a plastic fork did I become frightened.

Marluxia only rolled his eyes a little, twirling his own fork in a plate of spaghetti. He looked a little bored, head resting softly on his hand. Truthfully, he didn't seem so bad now.

Riku reached over his plate to squeeze my hand for attention. Shattering my gaze from Marluxia, I quickly turned to face him expression blank.

"Want some ice-cream?"

But the expression didn't stay blank for long, instead it quickly lit up at the mere mention of my most.. favorite... dessert in the world. "Yes, I want ice-cream!" I cutely responded through an incredibly large smile, completely showcasing two exposed rows of teeth.

"I didn't even have to ask..."

I laughed a little. "How'd you know ice-cream was my favorite?"

"Lucky guess," he responded from his now standing position. Riku turned to leave. Approximately ten feet away, he turned back to answer, "You seem like an ice-cream kind of guy."

I shrugged, pushing the excess pizza crust away from my checkered napkins. "Isn't everyone an ice-cream person?" I muttered. Looking up, my mouth once went into automatic drop-it-like-it's-hot mode.

Demyx had now appeared to master the use of his spoon.

"Don't pay attention to them."

A glance was earned in the vicinity of Marluxia's person. "Okay..."

Deciding against informing me of other stupid things Demyx liked to partake in- and their annoyance factor, Marluxia changed the subject to something a bit more personal. "So... Riku's different... He's happier."

I shrugged. "Guess so."

"It's because of you."

"What-" My eyelids increased to their maximum height, exposing fifty thousands hues and shades of blue. "Me?"

He nodded. "I'm glad. Riku... likes to pretend he's strong, but, he's not at all. He's one of those people that has to be constantly reassured that he's okay." Marluxia completely dropped the fork, it now beginning to drown within masses of uneaten spaghetti noodles. "Good job, Sora."

Marluxia, _even if he does have the girliest pink hair ever, _deserved a complete Sora smile- one of my bests.

Luckily though, the conversation quickly halted as Riku made his nearing presence known. Handing me a vanilla ice-cream cone with one hand, the other found it's way towards a fold in my jacket, which he used to pull me out of the seat easily.

"Come on, let's go."

"Sure," I turned back towards Marluxia. Pity. I would have smiled for him again if Demyx had not focused all attention on him at that particular moment.

----------------------

The two of us made it back to the dorm in record time.

Riku reached into his pocket with his free hand, licking up spills of melting ice-cream from the side of his cone all the while. Key clicked, a knob turned and we entered. Each one moved towards his own bed, sat on the end in a similar manner, and continued to quietly lick at their ice-cream. Neither of us really talked as we ate, only occasionally smiled at each other through ice-cream-filled mouths.

He finished his first, tossing a crumpled napkin into his miniature wastebasket next to his bed. As I continued to eat in silence, Riku moved towards my bed, stretching out fully next to me. I peered over him, a single eyebrow raised. Seeing a small smile enter his expression before face planting into the covers, I once again focused on the ice-cream.

"Sorry about Marluxia. He can be a complete asshole sometimes." Riku's voice strained through layers of blankets.

I shook my head, deciding against finishing the ice-cream in favor of talking with Riku. Funny. It was the first time I had really forsaken ice-cream over anything else really. "No, he's cool. I think.. I think it's Demyx you need to worry about." I in turn, mimicked Riku's previous actions, throwing the remainder of my cone into my own matching wastebasket.

"Demyx just has problems with eating."

I laughed a little at Riku's dry sense of humor. He was so blunt sometimes, so incredibly straight forward- something I was not. I lay on my back next to Riku, each of us sprawled horizontally across a small bed, legs and feet dangling off the sides.

Wrong move.

Riku took the moment to roll over, hovering completely over me with each hand pressed into the comforter on the sides of my head. I suddenly _knew _what was coming. I _knew _what he felt for me- I only denied it within my head- within my own world where Riku did not like me in ways he should not and certainly would never try to...

I only tried to signal him to stop through a pleading look with my eyes. As much as I wanted them to say "no," the command was apparently never received.

Before I could move, Riku's lips were on mine. A gentle kiss. I couldn't move, my mind being unable to register what was occurring. A kiss? This was my first kiss?

Somehow, when Riku's hands slid themselves from the bed sheets to my waist- and back towards my chest, to my shoulders, and finally my face, my body immediately responded. I felt myself lean into his torso, trying to snuggle close to his face.

Perhaps I did love Riku- subconsciously. It was true I never had a real friend until him- how could I be so sure I was straight? I could like both..

But sudden terror caused me to freeze, breaking from Riku's hungry kiss, and eyes widening in icy realization.

No. That was only a reaction to a kiss- an involuntary one. I liked Riku, so when he kissed me, I responded with kissing back. If it had been someone I disliked- of course, then, I wouldn't have kissed them. Right?

**Leviticus, chapter 18, verse 22, instructs, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with women..."**

Words, phrases, verses flew around my head in a mass of swirling confusion. I was being bombarded by two sides at once- two very conflicting sides, which I did not care to choose between.

The blood drained from my face, the blush on my once pink cheeks growing white and blending to ghosts.

"You can-can-can't do this!" I stuttered, backing up a little on the bed from his body. Involuntarily, my eyes widened in complete shock- both at Riku- for initiating such a thing, and at myself- for almost letting him. I scrambled a bit more to the edge, positioning myself almost to the verge of nearly falling off of it. Twisting my legs and arms into a vulnerable tangle, blue eyes only continued to gaze forward and search out answers for the many questions they suddenly sought.

I didn't alter my facial expression, not until my lids forced themselves to blink from pain. "I mean...," I tried to explain my actions. However, it was hard to formulate sentences with words that matched the feelings I suddenly writhed in. "Why?"

Stupid question, really. Of course I knew why.

Riku wasn't looking back at me. Rather, he sat with his head slumped over, silver hair covering what portion of his face would have been visible. From body language alone, I winced. I knew I had hurt him.

"Because... I like you."

A small tear slipped from the corner of my eye, trailing its way down the side of my nose. I quickly swatted it away, never breaking my gaze from Riku's defeated figure.

"You actually cared. Really cared."

"I do care. You're... my best friend."

"You're my best friend."

"I'm your best friend?" I questioned, eyes slipping back into their usual state of questioning, lids lowering a bit in gained comfort.

Riku didn't answer, just picked himself up and walked towards the dorm door. He paused for a moment, holding onto the doorframe limply. "Yeah," he gasped after a moment of silent stares was exchanged.

"Where are you going?" I didn't mean to voice this aloud, but he evidently had caught my soft words.

"A walk." Riku's hand slid from the doorframe. "Sora, I'm sorry."

I couldn't retort in either anger or reassurance, only watch as the slender figure before me carried himself off into the night in a slumped, defeated manner.

---------------

"Tidus!"

Tidus. An outlet to my problems.

"Hey..." The blonde coolly called from a secluded corner within the library. Flipping a book shut, he turned around to face me. Seeing my questioning gaze, he groaned, "History finals."

I nodded in understanding. Semester finals were something I myself was dreading.

"And history's always brutal. Man, that guy- I swear- he wants us all to fail!"

I only continued to nod.

"He's already flunked me on the last three tests!"

"Uh..."

"And well, _homework_. It wouldn't be so bad- if he didn't grade it on accuracy! For the love of God!"

"Tidus-"

"If I don't pass this, I swear I'll staple-"

"Tidus!" I shook his shoulders gently. "Don't worry so much."

A frown replaced his blank expression, the corners of his mouth twisting a little in annoyance. "Yeah.. well.. if I don't worry, I could be kicked out."

"You won't-"

"Well, maybe. But I have a lot of studying to do, Sora." He paused a little, maybe slightly unsure of how to end the awkward conversation. "See you around I guess." Only a minute later, Tidus' presence was replaced with sudden coldness and an empty space located between myself and a stack of shelved books.

I found myself wondering, and hoping, that it was only the stress of finals weighing on Tidus' sudden personality flip-flop.

------------------

It was the first Friday since Riku had kissed me. It had been easy to avoid him until then, on account of his soccer practices. I knew it was inevitable- I knew I would eventually have to stop running around like a complete and total chicken, and just face him at some point. I wasn't angry... just a little embarrassed actually of coming face to face with him.

And there I sat, within our dorm room. My posture was slumped- huddled into a defensive position within the confinements of my bed, hands tightly grasping the edges of a worn book. I had tried reading, but each time I began to get through a few pages, Riku began to enter my head again and cause me to forget what it was that I was reading in the first place. I could only sit there and wait for him. What would I say? I only wished things wouldn't be weird between us- even though they already were. I wanted so badly to be best friends with Riku.

And I had never wanted him to leave in the first place. When he left that night, I only wanted to run towards his disappearing figure and tell him it was okay- that he should stay.

But I hadn't. Damnit. And this is the situation that had molded from my cowardly stance.

Riku quietly tiptoed into the room a little while later. As he moved, he moved swiftly- all the while never looking in my direction. Surprisingly, he was he first to break the silence.

"Sora, I really am... sorry."

A sullen pause.

"I just, I wish you wouldn't be afraid of me."

Nothing.

"Or hate me."

"I don't hate you!" Those four words were the first I had spoken since he left that night. I didn't hate Riku. Afraid.. yes, a little. Afraid of what I might feel in return for him. Afraid of what possibly could happen between the two of us. I knew it was wrong, and hateful to think such thoughts, but I couldn't help but feel that Riku may somehow be brainwashing me into returning his affections. Or, if he'd already done something like that... "I'm sorry..."

"No-"

"Yes, I really am. I really am sorry, Riku. Just.. just _stop it!_ Stop regretting what you did!" The last few words were a little more intenseness with annoyance than I had intended.

I shut my eyes, wanting to disappear from this place, from this world. It appeared that the day I had been born, God had marked upon my soul two incredibly awful qualities. The first, being incapable of making friends. And two, if I were by chance to have a friend, I'd hurt them and somehow push them away.

Hadn't I done that to Tidus? He seemed to act rather cold. Because of my pursuit to befriend Riku?

And Riku. Certainly I had crushed his feelings.

I slid my eyes open slightly, Riku's figure pouring itself into my vision. He was rummaging around his dresser, piling clothes onto his bed. It then hit me what he was doing.

"Riku, wait! Don't leave!" I called out, launching my body from the bed and onto his. In the process, I managed to wrinkle a few of his shirts and knock several pairs of pants off of the bed clumsily. His silver head turned to face me in response to the sudden bed attack, a single eyebrow raised in... confusion? As soon as his eyes met mine, I quickly tore my gaze to my interlaced fingers, sitting crumpled in my lap.

I certainly did not intend to lose my best friend, however.

A moment of uncomfortable silence passed between the two of us as I continued to twiddle my fingers, Riku stopping his madman folding.

"Uh..."

"Don't leave," I repeated in a softer tone than the one previously used. "I'd miss you... you're... the only real friend I have here." That was a.. tiny lie, considering I did feel like Tidus was a friend. But, we weren't exactly close like Riku and I were.

I wasn't looking at Riku, but I could sense he wanted very badly to retort back with a not-so-nice response. But his exhausted sigh must have repressed whatever thoughts he meant to voice. Instead he settled with a, "I'm not going to let myself hurt you. I like you, Sora. And this is the only way not to hurt you."

"Nononono," I gasped, snapping my gaze from my hands. I quickly sat up on my knees, the mattress underneath me sinking a little at the newly added weight. My eyes searching for his, I wanted desperately to keep him there as long as possible. "You'll hurt me more if you leave..."

Riku looked as if he'd stopped breathing. "You.. you really want me to stay here?"

I nodded. But I felt like a nod wasn't comforting enough. I pushed up from my position on the bed, carefully slipping off the side and walking up to him. "It would suck," I sighed, wrapping my arms around his waist tightly. "A lot," I added after a moment. As long as I continued to talk, silence could never occur. Silence, I deemed guilty of problems that could be coaxed and fixed through words.

Riku hadn't really responded to the unrequited hug. He was limp, his arms at the side as mine continued to constrict his middle. "Please stay?" I asked, a little muffled through his jacket.

"You're hurting me."

"Oh." I dropped my arms. "Sorry, I guess.. I guess I don't know my own strength!" I laughed softly.

"No, not that." Seeing my confused glance, he added, "I really like you, you know."

I shifted my feet nervously against the carpet, a little tense at the soft "whooshing," noise my action produced.

"You're hurting me." Again. "You're hurting me right now."

"How-"

Riku made a sighing noise- something he did usually when he was annoyed by me. "Hugging me, sleeping in the same bed with me that one time, prancing around in the middle of the night to see me..."

And then I understood. I really would hurt Riku if he stayed here. He liked me, and I wasn't returning those feelings. While trying to be understanding and caring- I'd only cause him pain.

But all this was new to me. A friend. Someone who even cared for me. Then there was this whole "Catholic" thing. I knew, according to what I've been taught, it wasn't exactly right for Riku to be.. gay. But then again, nor had many other things which Catholicism preached had been right. Parents were supposed to love their children- mine didn't. Perhaps sometimes.. you had to do things a little differently than what is directly expected of you. Which was the most important? I hadn't ever cared for another person like this before- how was I sure it wasn't something greater?

And I knew at that moment, I had two options. The first was to let Riku leave. The second would be to return his affections. Either way, awkward moments would pursue, and I'd probably make the wrong decision in the end.

But I could do both?

Right? If... I tried.

"Riku?"

"What?"

"Can you... can you kiss me again?" I tried to smile cutely as I said this. I wanted anything to make him happy. I'd made a decision. Perhaps, yes, I would regret it, but I couldn't mind.

Riku's eyes widened in shock for a moment, in unison with an extending smile gracing his face. But a small frown followed, much to my dismay. "Are you sure?"

"I think so..."

As words trailed off into a non-existence of time, Riku once again pressed his lips to mine in a soft, quick kiss. It was just as gentle as the first, only a little pressure being applied to my mouth for a moment, before being released. I hadn't closed my eyes at all during this, and I was suddenly rewarded with seeing a quite happy Riku after our sudden gesture.

Returning the smile, I suddenly realized something. Even if the decision was wrong and sinful in the long run, I would completely love every moment of being with Riku for the present. We could.. help each other. He had what I needed, and I had what he wanted.

"Still want me to stay?"

Give me a one-way ticket to hell please.

"Um, yes," I cutely replied, catching his lips in another innocent, chaste peck. My body language was a little awkward from the sheer fact that I'd never been kissed in my life until recently. However, involuntarily, my arms seemed to encircle Riku's neck as my feet began to rise on their tiptoes. I let my lips linger on his for a little longer, my body suddenly shivering slightly as his strong arms grasped the crook of my back in response. Deciding I liked air, I let my lips fall from his then and fully leaned into his warm body.

He only continued to hold me within the silence of the room, rocking my body back and forth gently. Occasionally, Riku would lean in to press a few kisses to my forehead.

Perhaps words weren't needed to break a silence. Perhaps they could only cause it.

**Author's Note: **Whooo yeah. Finally. It's about time, you two Brokeback schoolboys XD. Btw, I do not take credit for comming up with the title of this chapter. The song did provide a lot of good ole' inspo for this chapter. It was on my myspace gets rotten tomatos thrown at her But I put up links to contact my finally in my profile. I have my DA account up as well.. well it's new XP but I put up some Marluxia funstuffs as a last "sorry I suck at life" kind of thing for not updating :)

I am in love with fruitcake Marluxia. I love him.. to absolute pieces. So I went with pinkish. Funny, cause I never even played COM. YEAH. TAKE THAT GBA. I don't NEED you to love Marluxia and his flowers! But I wasn't sure about his haircolor. Since it appears to be light brown in COM, but pink in KH2. So please don't take him too seriously, or if he's out of character. It's an AU anyway.

I also adore Demyx. Just not his table manners.


End file.
